Giant Halloween 'gay vagina' dirigible freaks out Islamic State insurgents
Fertile Crescent, Syria - A 500ft Hindenberg-like inflatable drone shaped like the Queen of Halloween's punani has crossed into Islamic State airspace close to rebel-held territory of Mount Skrotomb. Insurgents immediately stopped bobbing for app...
Read full storyWhy You Should Vote for Chris Christie for President
Okay, I like Chris Christie. The main reason I like the guy is because he's big and fat, just like me. In a land that's filled with dysfunctional dipshit politics, is that such a bad reason? Am I being too shallow? Too trite? Too outrageous? And...
Read full storyChinese kid isn't good at math
A Chinese 5th grader at an elementary school in the Boston-area is apparently last in his class when it comes to math. The student, Chen Wu Zhang, was born in the United States, but his mother and father emigrated to the U.S. from China in 1999.
Read full storyAt the Kobani border with Erdogan and Clarence Willnotlie standing by
So! Back then I went out the comfort room window of that club in Mosul, moving on, as we like to say, and I thank all of you who tweeted me at that time on what to do! Of course I ended up where the action is across from Kobani, then was snatched by the Turks into Erdogan's tent. Yes, in case you're still wondering, this is Pepe Warezabar aka "Clarence Willnotlie." I know, I know. I have...
Read full storyTurkey answers Cantlie video with new hostage reporter on the Kobani border
The startling John Cantlie video from Kobani just posted by ISIS has been answered from across the border in Turkey by a new video featuring a reporter named Clarence Willnotlie. Analysts suspect this new "reporter" may not be a hostage under any...
Read full storyRecount On Already Controversial Presidential Election Because Of Illegal Zombie Votes.
A recount has been demanded on the already scandalous Bush/Gore 2000 Presidential election by Democrats because it has been discovered that illegal zombies have been allowed to vote. Apparently in their over-exuberance to get people out to vote Re...
Read full storyThe Only Way is Essex? There's an App for that
The cast of The Only Way Is Essex (or TOWIE for those that can't string a sentence together) are known for a few things, one of which is their permanent, all year round, unfading, tan. Previously, this has required a series of expensive trips to a...
Read full storyNew National Sperm Bank "ATM" Machine Proposal
The new National Sperm Bank in Birmingham is to have "night deposit boxes" and sperm withdrawal A.T.M machines like any other bank, a spokesperson for the N.S.B told our sperm welfare staff this morning. Nasty letters will be sent out to customer...
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