Isla Vista shooter accumulates points toward l'enfant horrible trophy
This weekend's attack in Isla Vista is now being seen as akin to the Adam Lanza massacre in Newtown, Connecticut, which cost the lives of twenty children and six of their adult protectors. The Isla Vista murderer, Elliott Rodger, has a count of si...
Read full storyMaxine Carr is Bridezilla!
Guess what! That naughty Soham Liar Maxine Carr has got married. Within the last week Maxine, now under her new identity, has wed her secret new lover in a fancy swanky bash at a luxury hotel. Maxine is understood to be a huge fan of Kim and Kanye an...
Read full storyHerbivore Assessment Program Makes Vegans Feel Like Shit
Have you ever met one of those annoying, self-righteous vegans who obviously considers himself morally superior to all other humans on the planet? If so, you might be encouraged to learn that the recently established Herbivore Assessment & Rating Program (HARP) is working to take those self-important vegans down a notch - by assessing precisely how "vegan" they really are. In calculating a...
Read full storyNoing How To Spel "Gradjewayshun" Not No Longur Rekwiremint To Gradjewat From High Skool
Sacrimento, CA - With noo roolzs from the Calafornyuh state Bord of Educashun, noing how to spell "gradjewashun" isn't no longer a rekwiremunt to be able to grajewate from high scool. You dont haff to no how to spel no for syllbul wordz to gradjewate...
Read full storyBavarian Bestiality Believed to Be Behind Belgian Boys' Buggery
Munich, Deutschland - Dr. Hans Freid Eggs, a renowned German zoologist has come to the defence of four orang-utans convicted of grievous buggery committed against a group of Belgian schoolboys. "This is nothing but a snitch-up!"(sic) exclaimed Egg...
Read full storyLeonardo da Vinci 'Giant E' figure appears on Kardashian-West nuptials pic
Forte Belvedere, Italy - A large letter 'E' - plucked straight from Leonardo da Vinci's Annunciation painting - has popped up unexpectedly on Kim Kardashian's wedding pics posted on the internet today. Etched in the brickwork of the 39in × 85in oi...
Read full storyGeorge Osborne begs for a mini-skirt
Chancellor of the Exchequer, George 'No Clue' Osborne has begged the fashion industry to bring back the mini-skirt. "When I was studying economics," said Osborne, "on a night course in Northwich three weeks ago, I discovered this theory that the l...
Read full storyFormer MTV Host Arrested For Breaking Into Sirius/XM Headquarters
New York City - Mark Goodman, a former VJ from the 1980's heyday of MTV, was hauled away in handcuffs last week after being caught hitting the button that turns all Sirius/XM radios on, regardless of whether the customer has paid for a subscripti...
Read full storyEx: "I Knew Deep Down About Ian Watkins"
Contrary to recent news, an ex girlfriend of Ian Watkins today revealed that she always had a "strange feeling" about his sexual preferences, with the singer now serving 39 years in prison for various sex offences against children. Ian Watkins, fo...
Read full storyThe Fallacy of Phallic Over-Attention
Professor Naggin P. Hawgswaller of Cactass Community College in Cactass, California, today announced a major discovery when it comes to male behavior; what one drives is what one's life spins upon. During a smoke-out gathering for the graduating c...
Read full storyJesus Christ Will Not Heal Anyone With A pre-Existing Condition - God
Reports coming from Heaven are indicating that God, creator of the Universe, and all powerful being, who created the earth in six (or was it seven?) days, who refused to allow Noah to put the dinosaurs on the Ark, invented cancer and AIDS and who has...
Read full storyTevez Missing World Cup: His Choice!
Paper bag supermodel Carlos Tevez is missing the World Cup Finals, not because Argentina Coach Alejandro Sabella didn't choose him, but because he has decided to quit football and return to his first love of acting. Carlos Tevez, best known in the...
Read full story