Former MTV Host Arrested For Breaking Into Sirius/XM Headquarters

Funny story written by E. Williams

Tuesday, 27 May 2014

New York City - Mark Goodman, a former VJ from the 1980's heyday of MTV, was hauled away in handcuffs last week after being caught hitting the button that turns all Sirius/XM radios on, regardless of whether the customer has paid for a subscription to the satellite service or not.

The break-in occurred in Manhattan at the company's headquarters and when police arrived, Goodman was hitting on a hot, blonde chick in one of the hallways.

The room where Goodman had pushed the secret button turning on all Sirius/XM radios was located down the same hallway and behind a secret entrance.

The only way to gain entry into the secret room is by standing in front of the door while belting out Billy Idol's "White Wedding." If the computer deems your imitation worthy, the six-inch steel door is automatically unlocked.

There is still no word on how Goodman learned of the secret song password but it's widely known the group of former MTV stars has a vast knowledge of inside information about the music world.

The company was upset about Goodman giving away their product for free, sometimes for several weeks at a time. The former VJ said he never meant to hurt the company and only gave listeners the freebie out of the goodness of his heart.

"I've done it before, and I'll do it again," Goodman remarked. "Next I plan to hit OnStar and, after that, I'm going to take over MTV's studio and play nothing but music videos, returning the station to its glory days, damn it!"

Still recuperating from his recent liver transplant surgery, the former VJ didn't put up a fight against police when they took him into custody.

A company spokesman for Sirius said a crime like this would normally mean several years in jail but, in Goodman's case, he'll probably just pay a small fine and go home. It's hard to throw the book at Mark because, well, doggone it, people like him.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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