United Launch Alliance and Russia Claim NASA
Orlando, Cuba - The United Launch Alliance (ULA), a monopolistic joining of Boeing and Lockheed that is wholly dependent on Russian rockets, has stepped from the closet and taken sides with their suppliers. Speaking at a media resource event in Or...
Read full storyCharge Of the Martian Brigade
Violence has erupted in Nestle Presents New Uganda. Dozens of angry UFO enthusiasts have seized control of the Central Bank proclaiming "Martian Law". Authorities have mobilized the countries' four tanks and half a helicopter in an attempt to def...
Read full storyWaitress Laughs At Customer's Awful Jokes. Receives 50% Tip.
A waitress in a London restaurant has recently broken records for the amount of tips received by a single employee. Rebecca Taylor put her recent success down to the fact she now laughs at all of her customer's awful jokes. "When I first star...
Read full storySpanish university too mean to fire up incinerators as hundreds of corpses rot on campus
Madrid - Relatives of some 250 people who'd donated their bodies for scientific research were up in arms today as news of the morbid pile broke. Strapped for cash by horrendous EU austerity programs the General Franco Fascist Mammorial Infirmary a...
Read full storyUS marine falls from plane amid NCIS 'Hung Out To Dry' copycat episode fears
North Carolina - Lawyers specialising in copyright issues were parachuted into White Lake today amid claims that a marine who fell from an Osprey aircraft may have inadvertently plagiarised NCIS Season 1, Episode 2 'Hung Out To Dry' with his copycat...
Read full storyUniversity Graduates Happy University Is Over So They Can Start Fetching Coffee
After 3 years of intense study, 3,400 hours of revision and £26,000 of punishing debt, university graduates can now pat themselves on the back for making it this far in their mediocre lives. Brian Middleton spent 3 years at Warwick University stu...
Read full storyHipster in London Attempts To Start New Trend By Throwing Away Oranges, And Eating The Peel.
Mark Anderson isn't your typical hipster. He doesn't drink flat whites, because that's what all the other hipsters drink and he's a lot more alternative then that, admits Anderson. The first rule of being a hipster, is to not admit that you're a...
Read full storyMajor League Baseball Moves to "Girlfriend Who Doesn't Know Sports" Playoff System
New York City - As a result of a powerful lobbying effort by a union of various women's rights groups, Major League Baseball is changing its current playoff system to the "Girlfriend Who Doesn't Know Sports" system. In the "Girlfriend Who Doesn't...
Read full storyBald Man To Replace Bald Eagle As National Symbol Of United States
The bald eagle, national symbol of the United States of America, whose image appears on most official seals of the U.S. government, including the presidential seal, the presidential flag, and in the logos of many U.S. federal agencies is to be replac...
Read full storyChampions Of Mumsnet
Back and to the Left news revel in our roles as champions of the people so when we heard about mum of two, Sam Ross, not being allowed into the cinema with her 11 week old daughter we hit the roof! Then we rubbed our heads and decided that getting a house we could stand up in had to be the aim for the year. We met Sam in a park in her home town of Cambridge. Hi Sam and we see you've brought li...
Read full storyJohn Boehner Found Mummified in Tanning Bed
Washington D.C. - Speaker of the House, John Boehner, known for his orange hue and lack of spine when it comes to politics, was found this weekend in a dried-out, mummified state inside a tanning bed at a local salon. The Republican congressman fr...
Read full storyUS Media Responds to Allegations of Political Bias
Centralia, Ill. (UGH News) - Recent allegations that America's media is so entirely politically biased that one's brain would have to be mashed in granny's wringer-washer for any of it to come across as believable, has stirred a storm of responses.
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