Cameron hopes introduction of female ministers in cabinet re-shuffle will finally get Michael Gove laid
Conservative leader David Cameron announced in a press conference on Saturday at number 10 that his introduction of several new female ministers was done with the sole intention of getting former minister for schools Michael Gove laid. Addressing...
Read full storyRoyal Body language experts determine Prince George will grow to be expert at pooping, crying
Only a year old and yet body language experts have already signalled that Prince George will be fantastic at both crying and pooping. "We studied several videos of the young prince and surprisingly he showed a real interest in crying his head off...
Read full storyPutin's Spin Doctors Taking Anti Spin Drugs Due To Dizziness
Vlad The Cad's spin doctors are in such a dizzy state due to recent Russian Government problems that they are prescribing each other anti-spin pills. International esteem has lately been hanging out of the window for the beleaguered country. "My...
Read full storyScamatology Leader's Missing Wife Shows Up and Beats the Living Xenu Out of Him
The leader of Scamatology, diminutive Davy Makemerich, has been dodging questions for years about his missing wife, Smelly. At the same time that this drama has been going on, Wee Davy has been collecting money from Scamatologists for the Super Power building, which he says will give worthy cult members various super-powers--including the ability to find parking places INSTANTLY. When Davy open...
Read full story'Some ass radicalised him' as suicide donkey wreaks Gaza havoc
Palestine - Mossad is hunting a gang of radicalised drug mules that strapped a bomb belt onto a three year-old donkey that blew up in the Rafah area of the Gaza Strip today. Israeli bomb squad farces said they used a frozen lollipop to lure the b...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Threatens Comeback
Fabulous actress Lindsay Lohan has announced she's back and never felt better. The one time popular DJ was speaking at an award ceremony where she won the Ischia Comeback Award for her performance in the West End production of David Mamet's play '...
Read full storyKanye Heads South With North West
Popular Hip-Hop superstar Kanye West has just gone South to Mexico with his daughter North. His famous partner Kim Kardashian went as well because there's always an opportunity for a photo shoot and she loves a good pose does our Kim. Speaking...
Read full storyA healthy way to lose weight? Fat chance!
There was uproar last night when it was revealed that receipts from supermarkets are now to contain health warnings for the shopper if their choices are deemed to be unhealthy. There have been accusations that this is just the latest example of the n...
Read full storyCreationist Scientists Say Big Bang Happened 5,000 Years Ago
Xanadu The Creationist Scientist League announced during their annual convention today that they have come to an agreement that the Big Bang actually did occur, but it was actually just 5,000 years ago and resulted in a big garden with a couple of tr...
Read full storyVladimir Putin, Kim Jong-Un, Justin Bieber, & Dick Cheney Form Secret Super He-Man Poker Club
From an Unknown Secret Location It was discovered today that many of the most evil people in the world have formed a super secret coalition in order to have a no-limit, no girls allowed, he-man poker game camp out. There were a few others not allo...
Read full storyMajority of Illegal Immigrant Children Approved for Asylum, But Which One?
Texas - According to the House Judiciary Committee, two-thirds of illegal children who have requested asylum after crossing our southern border will be admitted and allowed to stay in our country. But why would any child want to live their lif...
Read full storyJames Anderson's conversation with Ravindra Jadeja leaked
Much has been spoken about the ugly spat between James Anderson and Ravindra Jadeja during the 1st Test match at Trent Bridge. Apparently, Jadeja's bat had a secret mic, that recorded the entire conversation. Wondering how the bat had a mic? Well, it belongs to Sir Ravindra Jadeja. Not just a mic, it may also have weapons for all we know. Here's what really happened (and by really happened, we...
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