US Nuclear Military Cheat On Tests, Are Drunk
America's relation to nuclear energy is once again problematic. This time it is sailors training on nuclear reactors cheating on tests involving classified material. A navy investigation is underway as 30 senior enlisted seamen have been suspended...
Read full storyBill Clinton shagged Elizabeth Hurley in the back of Scareforce One says sordid news scoop
Washington - The former Bedazzled! and Austin Powers movie actress swears blind it was just emergency First Aid mouth to mouth resuscitation gone wrong after her tongue got caught in the president's zip. "All that turbulence on Air Force One made...
Read full storyJane Goodall: I Know What Happened to the Missing Men
Jane Goodall, the primatologist celebrated for her meticulous studies of chimps in the wild has stated that she wants people to know before something could happen to her. "I know what happened to the leading male scientists and best brains of the...
Read full storyJohnny Depp's fab new $25m 'Downton Abbey' mansion under 10ft of water in Brit floodplain disaster
Somerset - The Pirates Of The Caribbean star is said to have been particularly impressed by the property's splendid river views when he first toured the Palladian pile late last year with current live-in squeeze Amber Heard. Set in 850 magnificen...
Read full storyVatican Defends Abuse Stance
The Vatican, currently under fire after a shocking U.N. report, issued a statement on their website defending their practice of sheltering priests who were known or accused pedophiles. "We want the public to rest assured," the statement beg...
Read full storyHouse Intelligence Chair to lead parade of tanks with drone escort as warning to criminal journalists
A representative for Representative Mike Rogers (R-MI) indicates new, dramatic action about to be taken by this congressman related to campaigning for defense of America. Mr. Rogers' latest idea is to lead a parade of 100 Abrams tanks through New...
Read full storyFraud In Army Recruiting Costs $100M But No Big Deal
In 2005, with mounting U.S. causalities in Iraq, the number of young men wanting to serve as cannon fodder had sharply declined. So a service recruiting bonus program was introduced to get them into the army. Under the program, National Guard s...
Read full storyFootfetishdating.web - putting your foot in someone else's mouth
Local media described it as "a press conference like no other in recent history," as the Foot Fetish dating web site was announced this morning in Raleigh, North Carolina. Before the festivities began, the new musical group, Toe Jam, sang their new s...
Read full storyDumb Putin photographed cuddling up to stuffed cheetah cub toy
Sochi - A PR stunt to show off Russian President Vladimir Putin's 'soft' side has backfired miserably when he was snapped cuddling up to an endangered baby cheetah cub that turned out to be a $20 stuffed toy made in China. The Russian leader was p...
Read full storyRussia Asks The U.S. For A Loan Due To The Fact That The Olympics Have Depleted The Russian Treasury
MOSCOW - The Russian government has just admitted that it has found itself in a serious financial situation. The Kremlin blames the financial situation on cost overruns attributed to The 2014 Summer Olympics being held in Sochi. Russian Preside...
Read full storyDonald Trump Tells President Obama He Will Donate $200,000 To The Democratic Party If He Speeds Up Justin Bieber's Deportation
NEW YORK CITY - Donald Trump has just made President Obama an offer that the president and 99 percent of the American people cannot believe. Billionaire GOPer Trump has called up President Obama and told him that he will donate $200,000 to the Nat...
Read full storyChina Sends An Aardvark Into Space: PETA Does Not Complain
NORFOLK, Virginia - Word coming out of the Republic of China is that their space program has just launched a spacecraft into the atmosphere. The Rick Shaw News Agency has stated that the spaceship Yao Ming #1 was sent into outer space with an aard...
Read full storyDonald Rumsfeld's Band, Donnie & The Weapons of Mass Destruction Is Doing Well
ST. MICHAELS, Maryland - Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld recently stated that he has no plans of retiring. The 81-year-old who served on President George W. Bush's cabinet says that he is the lead guitar player and lead singer for a ba...
Read full story"Stans" Featured in "Out of Control" Hockey Game at Sochi
"The game had started off well enough with just a few jostlings", said Coach Almazbek Atambayev of the Kyrgyzstan team. "Then, as usually happens with the team from Uzbekistan, a few extra vowels and consonants got thrown around and soon, there was a...
Read full storyMove Over Clydesdales, Bud Lite has New Mascots
ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI - Anheuser-Busch announced today that in light of the difficult economic times, they are making a change in the mascots for Bud Lite and their other alcoholic products. "Feeding 250 Clydesdales that weigh up to 2300 lbs. each...
Read full storyI Was a Teenage Google Executive
They laughed when I spent my sophomore year in high school in front of my computer. "My square headed girlfriend!" They shunned me when I stayed late in the school computer lab wearing my thick glasses and pocket protector with pens in it. Girls snickered when I passed by in the hallway wearing my "flood style" too short pants. But now who's laughing? Sure, I still wear geeky clothes and...
Read full storyThe Road To Sochi - Part One
Himsell Hauser was an anxious child growing up in the suburbs of Weehauken,Wis. From a young age he found himself fascinated by the televised scenes on " ABC's Wide World of Sports " and knew that his destiny was a place on the Winter Olympics team.
Read full storyFlash Mob Appears in Queen's Bedroom
LONDON, ENGLAND - Sources from Buckingham Palace announced that a flash mob appeared in Queen Elizabeth's bedchamber at the palace in the wee hours Monday night. Apparently, the Queen awoke to the sound of her corgis' loud barking, and was able...
Read full storyI am Urg, Head Chief of the Tatar Clan, I Go To Win At Sochi!
Urg not know fear. Not afraid of light skinned minor warlords sliding down hills on snow. Live in Caucausus Mountains, never feel cold. Can bring down reindeer barehanded. Come to Sochi for pretty metal on bright ribbon. Chase small rock on ice with stick. Slide fast in circle on sharp foot knives. Jump high over snow hill going fast. Bring fresh reindeer meat to village maybe attract stro...
Read full storyPrince Charles: A Carbon-Dioxymoron
As a British expatriate who has lived in the United States for the past decade, I wish to speak regarding Prince Charles' recent statement where he joins with some highly credential scientists in blaming the current balmy weather conditions in North...
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