Giant Mexican crack named after Salma Hayek
Mexico - A 3,000ft long, 26ft deep and 16ft wide trench that sprang up overnight between Hermosillo and the Coast has been dubbed Salma Hayek's Crack in honor of the famous Mexican actress. Locals say the fissure opened up after the earth moved l...
Read full storyMayo Clinic accused of using fudged data in fart survey!
A press conference was held this morning in Rochester, Minnesota by a large group of the participants in the recent Mayo Clinic survey: The heartbreak of LYOF (Loving your own farts). The group is contending that the survey was not only flawed by the...
Read full storyImagine there's no orchestra - European air conductor crowned champion
Air Conductor Jean-Luc Gingembre claimed his all-Europe 2010 Air Conducting championship trophy. To gain this prestigious award, the plucky Frenchman conducted his way through Stravinsky's 'Rite of Spring' in front of an impressed audience of 2,000.
Read full storyNew DNA Evidence Reveals That the Virgin Mary Was Not a Virgin
ROME--Biblical scholars have long been puzzled by a passage by a man named Baruch, in the apocryphal text of the same name, which reads, "Yeah. I hit on that. She was a nice piece of ass, though a bit of a holy roller for my taste." Although schol...
Read full storyTexas Governor Rick Perry is Ronald Reagan's son by Princess Margaret
Austin, Texas - Royal probate documents sealed under the Brits' Official Secrets Act are being subpoenaed in a Texas lawsuit alleging abuse of power by Governor Perry. Supporters of Travis County District Attorney and convicted DUI dissembler Rose...
Read full storyBilly Crystal to be named new Palace Manager
Legendary American funnyman actor Billy Crystal is sensationally set to become the new boss of Premier League club Crystal Palace. It is believed the club wish to retain the recent tradition of loose symmetry between managers name and the club nam...
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