Written by Talking Tic-Tacs

Thursday, 21 August 2014

image for Billy Crystal to be named new Palace Manager
A really bad artists impression of Billy Crystal

Legendary American funnyman actor Billy Crystal is sensationally set to become the new boss of Premier League club Crystal Palace.

It is believed the club wish to retain the recent tradition of loose symmetry between managers name and the club name after Tony Pulis's time in charge.

It also sees a return to the club having a comedian in charge after Ian Holloways hilarious spell which involved strange jigs and infantile rants in a comically Bristolian accent.

However Crystal's quick witted observational style of stand-up from the technical area is hoped to have the opposition rolling about with laughter.

Crystal seemed upbeat, if a little confused, at the one year rolling contract, "I'm thrilled to get the gig at Crystal Palace. It sounds like a wonderful place to perform and hey I love London. And only two gigs at the most every week - saweeet!"

Of course this follows the breakdown in relations between chairman Steve Parish and Tony Pulis which led to the latter's departure after he took exception to the Chairman's attempt to change the clubs name to Crystal Parish.

All this before sporting director Ian Moody resigned after failing in an attempt to change the clubs colours and nickname to Blues.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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