David Cameron 'stalking whorse' bollocks names wrong Tory
London - A third-rate Sunday red top 'exclusive' has named an up-and-coming Tory tosspot as the secret leadership challenger to oust PM David Cameron in a coup d'etat. The revelations come from the paper's same 'deep throat' that channels Camilla...
Read full storyExperience the fun of flying on grounded Boeing 787 - without leaving the ground!
Battery problems have grounded the entire fleet of Boeing's advanced new 787 airliner, but the company says those planes might be pressed into service anyway--on the ground. "Since they can't fly, we were trying to come up with ways we could use the...
Read full storySubway "Footlong" suit leads to similar claim against American men
The same attorney who filed a lawsuit against the Subway sandwich chain claiming some of the company's popular footlong sandwiches are shorter than advertised has filed a similar lawsuit against nearly all American men. According to attorney Ch...
Read full storyKim Kardashian Claims To Be Voice Behind Manti Te'o Hoax
BILLINGSGATE POST - Kim Kardashian, between whose legs no white man has been, told Hollywood reporter, Rex the Wonder Dog Pulozo, that she was the voice behind Lennay Kekua, the purported girl friend of beleagured Notre Dame football star, Manti Te'o...
Read full storyObama Lends Drones to TMZ to Spy on Celebrities
The White House announced today that the Obama administration will be working with TMZ in order to spy on celebrities. This decision came after President Obama was watching his favorite television show, TMZ, and heard that TMZ was looking for guest p...
Read full storyGod tells UK man to spend, spend, spend on his church!
A UK man with 200K to spare felt it burning in his pockets and God kept telling him to spend it on one of his impoverished churches. The Devil had different ideas and wanted him to "blow it" on sex, drugs and rock and roll. After going for a walk...
Read full storyRare cider found in London cemetery
A rare, vintage cider has been found in Victorian tombs in one of the UK's most famous cemeteries. The discovery of a large bottle of 'Dead Good' Cider in Highgate Cemetery, the burial place of Claud Bulmer and Lord Scrumpy, is the first time the...
Read full storyTackled, Crushed, and Congratulated by LeBron James
LeBron James, a millionaire businessman and sometime basketball player, showed exuberance beyond the call of duty when a fan hooked a shot at halftime to win a contest in Miami. The lucky fan stood at half-court at half-time and rang at perfect th...
Read full storySuper Walmart Puts Local Walmart Out of Business
PEORIA, Calif.-The unemployment lines in Peoria have seen a jump in numbers as the local Walmart closes its doors for the last time after succumbing to the pressures of the newly opened Super Walmart. "When the Super Walmart opened four month...
Read full storyHistorians Find Motivational Posters In Hitler's Bunker
BERLIN, DE - An excavation in Berlin, Germany, unveiled a secret room inside Hitler's Bunker, decorated with scores of motivational posters. "The posters range in size and quantity," said Dr. Robert Herzog from the University of Berlin, "from the...
Read full storySwan attacks the Queen
Wayne Swan, Australia's cleverest dyslexic Treasurer, has re-opened the debate about the country becoming a republic. "When Britain was an empire it had an emperor. When it was a kingdom, it had a king. Now Australia's got Julia Gillard we must becom...
Read full storyBoston Celtics Follow the Red Sox Into Oblivion
Doc Rivers is flirting with the idea of firing himself. Perhaps he has lost the team in the same way that Terry Francona lost the Red Sox. We wait for the fake press conference when the owners of the Celtics claim that the time for Doc to move on...
Read full storyRepublicans Announce 'Women's Safety Act of 2013'
WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP) Speaker of the House John Boehner,(R-Hooterville) addressed thousands of chilled but thrilled supporters of abortion prohibition who had gathered along the Mall in frigid weather to attend the annual "March for Life" protest Fri...
Read full storyPresident Obama Pushes Glove Control Legislation
Washington DC: White House Press Secretary Jay Carney announced that President Obama has asked Congress not to pursue an assault weapons ban, but instead work on Glove Control legislation. Many conservative Democrats and Republicans have a hard ti...
Read full storyCongress's No Budget No Pay Till…Whenever…
Everyone knows that I'm an extreme conservative. I'm the kind of conservative who seeks to lower taxes, while at the same time describing anyone who is not paying taxes as moochers. Today's heroes of freedom are the US Congress. While passing the debt limit bill they passed the No Budget No Pay Act of 2013 which states that if either the House of Representative or the Senate fails to pass a b...
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