US utilizes "pot calling the kettle black" SOP
Here in beautiful Caribbean Sea waters south of Cuba, black waves and porpoises, a fine sunny afternoon with Venezuela somewhere ahead, I'm leaning back in the pristine white salon of The Fulminator, a private 60 foot cruiser owned by CEO Meredith Merryfeather. Meredith (aka M 'n M) is offering me rum and coke and sitting across from me, doesn't mind my laptop on which I'm taking notes, and oft...
Read full storySufis warn of awesome astrological aspect for start of Eid
Arabian Gulf - Ascended masters of Islam's supernatural branch have described Wednesday night's powerful 'T-Square' in the cardinal signs of Capricorn, Aries and Cancer as a karmic trigger of ancient seismic fault-lines going all the way back to the...
Read full storyHawkers, Outlaws of the Sporting World
Unlike its tame cousins--cherry pit and watermelon seed spitters, hawkers are truly hard-core. These men, and they are all mostly men, will travel long distances to practice the art and science of professional spitting. Bragging rights and the admiration of their peers are the only rewards given in what has now become an underground sport. It has been driven underground by local boards of hea...
Read full storyGOP news: clot removed from circulation
Texas - An operation to remove what Seedy Sign-I Hospital surgeons have termed a 'massive clot' has seen George W Bush's innards pumped with fat-buster stuff normally reserved for urban sewer maintenance. Cardiologists said the lardy lumps in Duby...
Read full storyJeff Bezos opening chain of Brit-style fish 'n' chip shops
New York - Commenting on his recent $250 million acquisition of the Washington Post billionaire Amazon chief Jeff Bezos said today the purchase will be a vital back up in the expansion of his fledgeling fast food empire. "The Comeback Cod chain is...
Read full storyArsenal attempt to buy Luis Suarez denied by credit card refusal
Arsenal Football Club were in crisis last night, as the latest attempt to sign a living breathing non-retired footballer before the new EPL season starts were dealt a hammer blow when a credit card transaction to buy Luis Suarez was rejected. A cl...
Read full storyNutritionist Killed In a Tragic Bacon Accident
Pocono, Pennsylvania -- Gwendolyn Shopworn, a food researcher from Boston, expired earlier today while attempting to cross Pennsylvania's famous Bushkill Falls on a high wire. "This is a real tragedy," said Pocono Sheriff Snuffy Anastasia. "She'...
Read full storyUnited Healthcare to buy Philip Morris
MINNETONKA, MN - UnitedHealth Group, Inc. President and CEO, Stephen J. Hemsley announced today that UnitedHealth Group will purchase Philip Morris USA Inc., an Altria company for $674,986,685,999,324.67. "UnitedHealth Group is the largest healthc...
Read full storyVoyeurism: It's not just for perverts anymore!
Voyeurism is the pastime of spying on someone who is unaware of his or her presence. were the victim aware, he or she (usually, she) wouldn't be lolling around naked in the first place, especially in the presence, seen or unseen, of anyone else (unless she is also an exhibitionist). If the voyeur is hard up enough to ogle someone in secret and there is no one available to ogle, he will usually...
Read full storySenators John McCain and Lindsey Graham Seen Hunting Wacko Birds in Washington
WASHINGTON, D.C.--Senators John McCain and Lindsey Graham were seen today hunting Wacko Birds in Washington, D. C., in an attempt, McCain explained, to rid the Republican Party of all the extremist kooks bubbling up from the Tea Party faction of the...
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