US utilizes "pot calling the kettle black" SOP

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Tuesday, 6 August 2013

image for US utilizes "pot calling the kettle black" SOP
Meredith M 'n M Merryfeather, CEO of SAHS Corporation

Here in beautiful Caribbean Sea waters south of Cuba, black waves and porpoises, a fine sunny afternoon with Venezuela somewhere ahead, I'm leaning back in the pristine white salon of The Fulminator, a private 60 foot cruiser owned by CEO Meredith Merryfeather.

Meredith (aka M 'n M) is offering me rum and coke and sitting across from me, doesn't mind my laptop on which I'm taking notes, and often says to me "There you go," one of her signature expressions.

Of course I'm Pepe Warezabar joining Meredith on this cruise south of Florida and wasting no time--this little cruiser moves out, I'm telling you--guided by her one man crew who has beard stubble and cap with sunglasses, but so far I didn't get his name.

Meredith M 'n M Merryfeather is CEO of a company called SAHS (Superior Ad Hominem Services) with a lot of insider info on what she calls "the black ops" of guiding US government spokespersons. She's been doing this advising over the past ten years or so.

"Take this Senator Schumer thing," she is saying. "This technique is deliberately PCKB [pot calling the kettle black] standard operating procedure. And pretty far up there on the PHS register."

"The PHS register."

She looks at me a long time, and I sip my rum and coke over it.

"I mean," she says, "Schumer simultaneously 'poisons' by demonizing Putin as a 'schoolyard bully,' then hurls the 'poisoning' charge at them. He poisons while claiming to be poisoned. It's brilliant. That's the kind of statement we regularly craft at SAHS Corporation."

"PHS register?"

"Permissible hypocrisy scale. I'd say Schumer is maybe up to a 7 on this versus your more normal point 4 or 5. It's part of today's SOP for anything official the government needs to say."

"But, Meredith. Isn't it obvious to the entire world that the bully in this case is the United States?"

"There you go."

It comes to me. The finger of suspicion, or at least the air of suspicion, lies on her because she's talking about the dynamics of Government-Speak. Which are probably classified.

"Another one high up on the PHS scale--possibly at a 9 on this one--was the talking point and MSM view that Snowden's meeting with Amnesty International a few weeks back was 'a propaganda platform.' Brilliant, absolutely brilliant."

"You mean--"

"There you go. A highly successful technique in terms of JQ Public mind is attacking by accusing something of being exactly what you are doing yourself. It's similar to the Schumer. Work the PCKB angle. You use propaganda while you demonize and accuse your target of using propaganda."

"But isn't that confusing, Meredith?"

She paused. "You did say you're with The Washington Post, right? Or was it CNN. I know you're mainstream. Otherwise I might not be talking to you."

"Well, I mean, Meredith-- Ahh. Mainstream? I'm with The Guard Dog."

"There you go." She lit one of a continuing stream of Marlboro Lites, then continued.

"The same mindset for special ops and the dark forces and all that has its parallel in government talking points leading on to what we see today. We have to have all these private contractors, like my company, showing our leaders how to talk to the people."

"Well, you mean-- I don't know if I'm following you but--"

"Why I'm doing this insider talking? It's time for JQ Public to get on board. Everybody should know what comes out of the government's mouth depends on what's politically convenient. Think battlefield strategy. You take the gloves off. You do what's needed."

"Are you doing something wrong?"

"The President and people like Mike Rogers have been frowning in my direction. But I'm a government loyalist if ever there was one."

"Well, I'm having trouble getting it."

"That's because you're still in an older mind-set. That older America. Before we went to the no holes barred approach."

"Did you say no holds barred?"

"There you go. Holes, holds, black holes etc. etc."

"Well, then, if you're a government loyalist, Meredith, why are you on the run to Venezuela?"

"Not on the run, Pepe. At least it's not clear that I need to be on the run as yet. My position is somewhere between whistleblower patriot, and loyal information warrior for US interests."

"So you're heading for Venezuela--"

"Just in case. I mean I'd rather be there looking for an embassy versus in some airport somewhere!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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