Jeff Bezos opening chain of Brit-style fish 'n' chip shops

Written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 6 August 2013

image for Jeff Bezos opening chain of Brit-style fish 'n' chip shops
Frying tonight

New York - Commenting on his recent $250 million acquisition of the Washington Post billionaire Amazon chief Jeff Bezos said today the purchase will be a vital back up in the expansion of his fledgeling fast food empire.

"The Comeback Cod chain is modeled on the traditional British 'chippie'," Bezos explained, "with each fishy sale wrapped in a copy of the morning's tabloid."

Up to 100 outlets located mainly on the Eastern Seaboard of the United States will be frying 24/7 with cod, plaice and salmon heading a traditional menu, albeit minus the obscure Brit delicacies of 'saveloy' - a horrid sausage-like thing popular with late-night drunks - and 'wallies' [don't ask].

Bezos' purchase of the paper famous for its coverage of the Watergate scandal has been given a cautious thumbs-up by WaPo staffers who report their new boss has even offered some tempting discounts at the upcoming restaurant chain.

"Veteran reporter Carl Bernstein is getting a 50% off lifetime deal on any shrimp side-salad orders," the paper's welfare officer reported.

A pound of rock salmon retails at around 99c.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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