Arnold Schwarzenegger Admits To Dallying With Brigitte Nielsen
NEW ORLEANS - Arnold Schwarzenegger traveled down to the Big Easy on a promotional book tour for his latest book titled Total Recall - My Story of Loving, Lusting, and Lap Mingling. He was interviewed by several reporters with the entertainment in...
Read full storyThe Mob Doctor Could Be The Fall TV Season's First Casualty
HOLLYWOOD - The fall television season has kicked off with a bang and many TV critics and entertainment media reporters are already placing bets as to which 'newby' will be the season's first cancellation. According to Wally "Da Numbers" Numbaveck...
Read full storyThe Papacy: Beyond the Hat
The death of the Pope is a tragic event. With satellite television, the news of their passing is immediately heard around the world. Back before television, the news was taken from town to town on horseback with some areas of the countryside not knowing their religious leader was dead. But by then they had already picked a new Pope so it wasn't such a big deal. Little is known about what goes on b...
Read full storyLetters of complaint to the Spoof
Dear Sirs, I read the Magazine article "Situations vacant. Typical British family wanted" by Mr Clive Danton and was quite horrified, how on earth did he know I am a junkie and my 14 year old daughter is a crack hoe with two children from different fathers? He hacked our mobile phones. If this article is not removed I will contact ITV4 and inform them we are not doing the programme. Yours Fa...
Read full storyRomney Stands by Healthcare Vision
Mitt Romney is standing by his statement on 60 Minutes about healthcare for the poor. Questioned later by myself and other reporters, he clarified his meaning. "No other country comes close to caring for the miscreants of society as well as the US does. We are now, and always have been, the best at everything; not to mention running the Olympics (snark, snark)." The snark was heard clearing...
Read full storyBritons Braced For Bacon Shortage
As if things aren't already bad enough in this septic isle, the devastating revelation that beleagured Britain faces an impending bacon shortage has left plucky Brits reeling. Bacon, a staple ingredient in the 'Full English' and a much heralded bu...
Read full storyRomney Shocking Admission
In a surprise admission, Mitt Romney let it loose today at when speaking at a small town rally in Ohio. When asked about the 47% percent and his negative comments, he smirked, then chucked under his breath. If truth be told, and I always do tel...
Read full storyEX-Cabinet Minister Sectioned For Asking Questions About Bank Of England!
Ex Government Austerity Minister Sir Peregrine Partridge-Greenwelly has been sectioned under the Mental Health Act of 1983. Sir PG will undergo re-training at a psychiatric hospital in West London following a speech he made in Parliament on Thursday...
Read full storyPlagiarists index of jokes and one liners. Page one.
"I cleaned out the loft this morning with the wife. Dirty, dusty, full of cobwebs, but she's good to the kids" Tommy Cooper (1921-1984) "I saw six men punching and kicking my mother in law, my neighbour said "Aren't you going to help"? No I said, six should be enough". Les Dawson (1931-1993) "I have the body of an eighteen year old; I keep it in the freezer". Spike Milligan (1918-20...
Read full storyMy life as a man #13
I don't watch internet pornography because visiting those sites leaves traces on your computer, and you never know when your sister is going to go through your search history-AND-there's always the chance that, after you're dead, your heirs might sell your computer to a church, and while the congregants are using it for a power-point presentation on Christmas Eve, might hit the wrong button, see w...
Read full storyFull English Breakfast Not Really English - It's American
The controversial and widely refuted claim was made by US historian, Paul Garfunkel yesterday. A history don at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Garfunkel claims that the 'traditional' full English breakfast as we know it today, was actuall...
Read full storyVatileaks: Pope's butler stole French letters
Rome - Paolo Gabriele has gone on trial for nicking the Pope's letters to the Bishop of Condom in southwestern France. The former butler says he was mesmerised by the Pontiff's explanation of big bang theories to the Condom-en-Armagnac prelate, re...
Read full storyVegetarians call for a Bacon Ban
Vegetarians based in Altrincham, Cheshire, have asked for a complete ban on bacon following the alarming news that more vegetarians have fallen off the wagon due to thinly sliced meat than for any other reason. "It's the smell of cooking bacon," s...
Read full story2012 Red Sox: When Spellchecker Was No Help
What a season for the Red Sox. The manager in his final series of the season posted a lineup in which spelling mistakes of his starters proved how the team has gone in the direction of apathetic nobodies. We spent a hard year learning to spell som...
Read full storyNot Adding Up
Maths teacher Jeremy Forrest has failed in his attempt to make off with schoolgirl Megan Stammers as French police swooped on the couple in a Bordeaux street. The French allow 15 year olds to make partnerships with older people but it is different...
Read full storyWhy California shouldn't force porn stars to wear condoms
Los Angeles --Today the California State Senate brought to the floor a bill that would require the Adult film industry actors to wear condoms. The reason for the bill, according to a state Senator who requested to remain anonymous, is to ensure that...
Read full storyMy life as a man #12
Honey-Do Lists and Female Barbers I'm telling you all right now, and you can look it up here on my writer's profile: My turn-ons do not include crawling on my belly through damp, bushy, dark places with deep, wet holes.... OK, OK, I'll reconsider that. I do not like crawling under the goddamned house to change air conditioner filters. I'm retired; I make enough money to pay some out-a-wor...
Read full storyTom Cruise Spotted With Cameron Diaz
LOS ANGELES - The recently divorced Tom Cruise is finally back in the dating scene as evidenced by his recent outing with Cameron Diaz. The two were seen having a cozy dinner at The Lips of The Dastardly Dragon Diner in West Hollywood. Cruise a...
Read full storyLady Gaga Ordered To Go On A Diet
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Lady Gaga flew down to Mexico to get away from the persistent weight gain rumors that have been plaguing her for the past two weeks. The New York songbird stayed at The Whole Enchilada Hotel & Spa in Cabo San Lucas.
Read full storyMila Kunis Ready To Marry Ashton Kutcher
HOLLYWOOD - Mila Kunis, 29, The star of Black Swan, Krippendorf's Tribe, and The True Story of Sasquatch has stated that she is ready to marry her boyfriend Ashton Kutcher, 34. But there is one slight, little holdup - Demi Moore. Ashton is still m...
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