Sidebar of Shame Throwaway Celebrity Gossip 3rd September 2012
'He is just too intelligent for her': Geri Halliwell cools off her romance with Russell Brand after initial 'fizz of yoga and sex' She's now looking for someone who likes bucks fizz, yoghurt and sax. But no dictionary. 'I don't regret a thing': Celebrity Big Brother's Danica Thrall reveals steamy lesbian romps on sex channels I regret not having that channel on freeview. (Thank God for the in...
Read full storyThe Clue of the Mysterious Clue: A Hardlee Boys Mystery
The following is number 3,752 in the popular Hardlee Boys series. "What's this?" asked Bob Hardlee. "Holy Cow!" said his brother Rob. "It's some kind of letter! Open it up and read it." The Hardlee Boys had been in the middle of a fine pancake breakfast when the letter arrived. It looked innocent enough, until you noticed that the letter was closed with a wax seal bear...
Read full storySidebar of Shame Throwaway Celebrity Gossip 2nd September 2012
Chris Moyles prepares to leave the Radio 1 breakfast show after eight years at the helm Music to my ears... Usain Bolt dating model from Dartford I can't believe this punchlines not Bolter - sorry better. Simon Cowell spotted unshaven with new girl on boat Is Cowell growing a new beard? Rihanna asks London nightclub bouncer "Don't you know who I am?" Bouncer replies "Sorry Riri, didn'...
Read full storyBush And Blair Celebrate Tutu Recommendation
The world learned today that Archbishop Desmond Tutu has called for George W. Bush and Tony Blair to appear in the dock at the ICC (International Criminal Court). Earlier this year the Kuala Lumpur War Crimes Tribunal in Malaysia found Bush and C...
Read full storyIsraeli Vice-Premier Scolds "Complicit" Word Re Iran War
Israel's Vice-Premier Moshe Ya'alon has slammed the US because top general General Martin Dempsey said the US would not be "complicit" in an attack by Israel on Iran. The word complicit suggests criminal activity, the Vice-Premier stated indignant...
Read full storySaints Slain In Dying Moments As Van Persie Racks Up A Hat Trick
Considering the average tenure of a Premier League manager is a little over 50 games at the helm, it was all the more remarkable that this afternoon Sir Alex Ferguson celebrated his 1,000th Premier League game in charge of Manchester United at St Mar...
Read full storyFootball Gossip & comments 2nd September 2012
Liverpool midfielder Jonjo Shelvey, 20, whose grandmother is from Edinburgh, has held talks with the SFA about potentially representing Scotland. (Sunday Mirror) "See you Jimmy, I mean Jonjo" England manager Roy Hodgson insists he will stick with veterans Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard and John Terry. Lampard, 34, Gerrard, 32, and Terry, 31, will not be discarded as they enter their 30s. (Dai...
Read full storyOMG! Italy's Silvio Berlusconi tests positive for Justin Bieber paternity
New York - A Manhattan DNA testing lab is in lockdown this weekend amid confirmation that the Canadian singer's birth father is the septuagenarian Italian renegade Silvio Berlusconi. And that his mother is Kate Middleton'- the UK's gold-digging wa...
Read full storyBurgled Man Calls Police and Orders Pizza - Pizza Arrives First
Police in Bedfordshire have apologized to a Luton man after they took over 2 hours to respond to a 999 call after the victim returned home from work to find his home had been burgled. Simon Brown claims that while he was waiting for police to arri...
Read full storySorry Scousers Shot Down In Flames By German Gunner
Nothing seemed to go right for Liverpool this afternoon at Anfield, where the once mighty reds huffed and puffed against a fairly lightweight Arsenal team, yet failed to make any real kind of impression. German Gunner, Lukas Podolski fired the Gun...
Read full storySkank 109! - the latest offering from the US's most popular author
Clyde Cludwell is one of America's most popular authors. He claims to have over 300 million fans, though this has sometimes been pointed out as a slight exaggeration. (Publishers Weekly notes the actual number at more like 50,000.) Cludwell began in the seventies with the swift success of Sink the Titanic!, The Wacky Afghanistan Affair, Sink the Titanic Again, and Another Goddamn Book About the Ti...
Read full storyRon & Fred At The Seaside (Part Three)
"Someone's fallen overboard from that tanker, Fred. I can see 'is 'ead bobbin' up n dahn in the sea way out there." "Yeah, likely story. Must av slipped off the deck 'cause ov all the oil on it I s'pose." "Straight up Fred, I aint jokin'. I'm tellin' yer there's someone out there in the water. Poor bloke, (SHOUTS OUT TO SEA) 'ANG ON MATE, I'VE SEEN YER. 'ELPS ON THE WAY MATE." "Well if th...
Read full storyRon & Fred At The Seaside (Part Two)
"No I bloody aint ad enuff. We've only bin sittin' 'ere fer five minutes. I wanna take in the view prop'ly, get some ov this ozone inside me lungs." "Ron, I'm COLD.... and the rain's comin' dahn 'eavier now." "Dive in me bag there, there's a little umbrella in there yer can use." "I'll fly off like Mary Poppins if I try openin' umbrella in this wind. Water gets in through the stitches wi...
Read full storyRon & Fred At The Seaside (Part One)
(SETTING: Ron and Fred are on a day trip to Canvey Island, Essex, UK. They're sitting on the sea wall along the esplanade looking out to - a very rough - sea. Very windy, Ron is taking some deep breaths of 'sea breeze' into his lungs.) - After inhaling two deep long breaths Ron says to Fred who is sitting next to him on the sea wall, "Yer don't find that anywhere else Fred. They av sea bre...
Read full storyNew England Patriots Are Dancing Like the Stars
Josh McDaniels is the new Magic Mike of the Patriots. After trying to assemble a quality line of Chippendale dancers as his starters in Denver a few years ago, Josh McDaniels is now proving he was years ahead of his time. Tim Tebow time meant t...
Read full storyBoxing Day Comes Early for Red Sox
For those who recall the year when Manny Ramirez popped off and took a poke at Kevin Youkilis in the dugout during a game, we have had a sense of deju vu all over again. During the west coast trip to hell (they still aren't there yet), the battlin...
Read full storyBlumstone Village Sports Day
All competitors must bring their own medical kits and have personal injury insurance. The games will be held on the village green so space will be limited. Mrs Spong has begun heating the village pond with kettles of hot water. No urinating please. Diary of Events: 09:00hrs: Kick the cat over the neighbour's wall (Manx cats are banned from this event) 09:30hrs Lamp Post lea...
Read full storyTabloid Media duped by Photoshopped Harry
Media all over the world are waking this morning to the realisation that Prince Harry was never photographed nude. That the picture of him that has appeared in newspapers across the globe, and on just about every media internet outlet from Bangkok to...
Read full storyNew Threat to David Cameron taken seriously by G4S, Police and MI5!
Investigative reporter Bartholomew Utterswaithe, reports on the situation regarding the anonymous threats received at the Nottingham Conservative supporters headquarters last week. Party chairperson Hortensia Araminta Ponsomby-Smyth explained to U...
Read full storyClint Eastwood Stole The Chair Idea From George Strait
SAN ANTONIO - Famed country singer George Strait has just issued a statement regarding Clint Eastwood's Republican National Convention speech in which he talked to an empty chair. Strait, who has had 59 number one hits, told Buck Yazoo with Yippee...
Read full storyCelebrity Facebook - Lady Gaga and Jessica Simpson
CELEBRITY FACEBOOK Lady Gaga: Hello Jess? 10:01 a.m. Jessica Simpson: Hi Lady Gaga, how in the world have you been girlfriend? 10:04 a.m. Lady Gaga: Good, except for the fact that I have just put on 11 pounds and people are starting to ask me questions like; Are you with child? Are you eating for two? And are you hoping for a boy or a girl? 10:07 a.m. Jessica Simpson: Eleven pounds!...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Dating Sean Penn
LOS ANGELES - It is no secret that Hollywood "Bad Girl" Lindsay Lohan is starting to have a hard time financially. And it stems from her extra-curricular activities such as free-fall partying, midnight drinking binges, and noon day fiestas. Lin...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Offered $25 Million!
HOLLYWOOD - American Idol will enter Season 12 with three brand new judges. The shows producer Simon Shindlebocker said that judges Jennifer "La Tush" Lopez and Steven "Lips" Tyler have left for greener pastures and that Randy "The Dawg" Jackson j...
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