
Pippa Middleton Hiding Out In Garden Shed
Following the furore surrounding the release by treacherous French ingrates, who for some reason fail to appreciate the sacrifices of D-Day and the Normandy landings, of intrusive intimate photographs taken by scumbag paparazzi of the Duchess Of Camb...
Read full story
Never Mind Pippa's Ass, Get a Load of Kate's Tits!
Every year the town of Dorking plays host to a very special talent contest - Dorking's Pets Have Got Talent, is a contest to find some of the most talented pets in the Dorking area. Last year the top prize went to local girl Pippa Middleclass an...
Read full story
Human Frights lawyer Sir Baldylox Fatcat Arzlikka QC will represent Kate at tit snaps hearing
Paris - He honed his awesome litigation skills defending Princess Margaret in the Headless Duchess caper of '69. And got Fergie off oral necrophilia charges from a Royal Mausoleum hen night described by one Old Bailey judge as 'pretty hard to swa...
Read full story
First the Mighty Casey and Now the Mighty Tom Brady
That smell wafting over Fenway Park has moved like a large smog bank down the highway to Gillette Stadium. That fishy smell was not coming from Denmark, but from Foxboro. No, that was not the smell of fall in the air, but it was the smell of th...
Read full story
"I am NOT a weasel! My mother was a liar!"
Governor Mitt Romney called an impromptu press conference this morning to reply to a leaked memo that states his mother once referred to him as a weasel. "My mother was a liar," said Romney with a red face and an angry tone in his voice, "She said I acted like a weasel, that's not the same!" Reporter: "Governor, why did she say that?" Romney: "It was nothing!" Reporter: "Why?" Romne...
Read full story
Prince William and Kate Middleton visit Stacey Solomon Islands
Amid the gathering storm over topless pictures of Kate Middleton topless on vacation in France, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge continued with their tour of Essex today by visiting the Stacey Solomons Island of Dagenham. They were greeted upon a...
Read full story
Kate WHO? French judge sides with SaggyTitz magazine editor
Paris - A French judge has sided with the editor of SaggyTitz! magazine that some tawdry royal boob snaps 'were deliberately posed'. And he's thrown out demands for the pics' destruction as well as punitive damages against the mag. Calls for th...
Read full story
Anton Ferdinand investigated over odd betting patterns
Queens Park Rangers defender Anton Ferdinand is being investigated by the Premier League after it emerged that there were odd betting patterns in the run up to the pre match handshakes against Chelsea yesterday. It was well known that Ferdinand wo...
Read full story
Elderly Girl's Secret Garden of Red Orchids
As Elderly Girl has informed you dear women before, she insists on having her "time of the month," even though she has been post-menopausal for eons.To be honest, it is pretty much always her time of the month, and, to quote the great soul songstress Ella Fitzgerald, "It Ain't Nobody's Business But My Own." She believes it is her biological prerogative to burst into tears, punch holes in wa...
Read full story
Irish Newspaper Goes One Better In Topless Royal Scandal
Not to be outdone in the media frenzy surrounding the recent exposure of the Duchess of Cambridge's modest breasts, the Irish tabloid, The Sunday Gobshite, has printed rather unflattering photos of another senior member of the British Royal Family.
Read full story
Same sex marriage, now same person marriage?
In times past it would be called a sexual deviance, but today many people are worried that it will be yet another that gets labeled an "orientation". Heterosexual, homosexual, pansexual, metrosexual, and now autosexual? The sexual attraction to ones...
Read full story
My 'You Had to be there' Moments' W/e September 15th
Bought a book about BBC Radio 4 in the local charity shop. Inside the book is a business card for the writer. He lives a few streets away from me and the shop. A bit of self-promotion maybe... Overheard Conversation of The Week Woman to her friend at the bus stop. "I've got my Year 13 children where I want them. They already hate the Tories. London 2012 Olympic and Paralympic merchandise...
Read full story
Football Gossip & comments 15th September 2012
Emile Heskey is wanted by Conference side Macclesfield, who believe the former Aston Villa, Liverpool and England striker, can fire them back into the Football League. Full story: Daily Mirror Found his level? Former Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp, 65, says he still as passionate about the game now as he was 20 years ago. "Get me and Fergie together and we'll be talking about the good job M...
Read full story
Football Gossip & comments 16th September 2012
Anton Ferdinand is considering taking a civil action against John Terry should the Chelsea defender escape serious punishment from the forthcoming FA inquiry into his alleged racial abuse. Full story: Sunday Telegraph Apparently the case is a week Tuesday. As Ferdinand left the pitch he shouted to Terry "Oiii , C U Next Tuesday" Reading skipper Jobi McAnuff, 30, has called for football's top...
Read full story