Mitt Romney Responds To The Nicknames
WHIPPLE, Ohio - Mitt Romney's Mormon Merriment Presidential Campaign Bus Tour pulled into the town where beer coasters were invented. A crowd of 29 individuals had gathered in the morning dew to hear Old Mittens speak in the parking lot of a local...
Read full storyCannibal Cop's Arrest Prompts Bloomberg To Limit Human Flesh Portions
New York - Mayor Michael Bloomberg made the Big Apple less appetizing to the city's cannibal community today, introducing a new Health Department regulation that limits flesh eating to "one pound per person per day." The restriction came on the he...
Read full storyThe Sex Case - another Halloween story
Shorty sat, his leg twitching on the bench in the holding cell. There were three other guys in here, all of them mean looking, all waiting to hear the dreaded roll-call to be dragged off to the Judicial chambers to be tried by Judge and jury. One guy, in his late fifties with 5 days of growth on his chin was pacing up and down the cell parallel to the bars. He was muttering to himself - something...
Read full storyAli Bullo To Remove The 'Big Jimmy' From Kebab Van Menus
South coast kebab, burger and pizza entrepreneur Ali Bullo today announced that the menu item known as the 'Big Jimmy' is to be discontinued with immediate effect from all of his conveniently located kebab and burger vans. Market analysts speculat...
Read full storyHarry Reid 'was top student' in crash course at Kerry Kennedy School of Advanced Driving Skills
Los Angeles - The fast track program in motoring skills saw Nevada Senator Harry Reid graduate magna cum laude to take the School's Top Gun prize aides said today. Reports this morning claim the course 'may have saved his life' following a multi-c...
Read full storyRomney diet drink proven to be fake
Washington DC - According to Miss Adelle Bowersocks 1232C Upswine Gardens, Romney is not really drinking diet soda, as he appears to be. Miss Adelle was cleaning up after a $200,000.00 a plate dinner when she tasted what appeared to be left over die...
Read full storyDoc Rivers Says 'Boo' to Scare Ray Allen
Doc Rivers of the Boston Celtics dishes out the ball like Rajon Rondo. He ignores Ray Allen. When the late Celtic #20 took his disparaging comments to a Boston media maven named Jackie MacMullen and ranked the Celtics as purely rank, they were fig...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan At It Again!
ATLANTA - The wardrobe mistress on the motion picture Scary Movie 5: The Attack of Little Bunny Foo Foo has reported that the production company is missing over $57,000 in wardrobe shoes. Ultressa Hicklenpucker, 24, told Tittle Tattle Tonight that...
Read full storyMitt Romney Promises To Ban Sarah Palin From The Lower 48
PAWTUCKET, Rhode Island - Mitt Romney was in Pawtucket at a meeting of The Smallest State in The Union Chapter of Undecided Voters. He was greeted by two blue-haired elderly women, one dishwater blonde elderly woman, and a woman who was clearly we...
Read full storyGeorge Clooney Says He'll Give Donald Trump $5 Million To Get That Ugly Squirrel Off His Head
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - George Clooney appeared on Live With Kelly & Michael and told little Kelly that he would like to make an offer to Donald Trump in front of the American audience. Clooney said that after hearing Trump's $5 million offer to Pre...
Read full storyNASCAR Strike Looming - Replacement Drivers Will Soon Be Interviewed
ATLANTA - Rumors of a looming strike by NASCAR race drivers are starting to spread like a swarm of locusts in Queensland, Australia. A union representative for the drivers Larkin "Pistons" Waxington, 29, stated that negotiations between NASCAR exe...
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