Comstockery: Yesterday and Today
Did you know that in World War I, the United States was the only country that did not distribute condoms to its soldiers? As a result, rates of sexually transmitted diseases were higher among American troops, as was the incidence of them being fathers of (often unwanted) babies. Our allies thought we were silly and prudish, calling such policies "Comstockery." The term was later used to more gener...
Read full storyWasting The Plebs Cash
A top Government minister popped his head over the battlements of castle parliament today and shouted: "The Government should be allowed to waste taxpayers money!" He quickly jerked his head back inside before any of the plebs could throw stone...
Read full storyRolling Stones perform in Paris without wheelchairs!
The Rolling Stones have given a private gig in Paris and managed to get on stage without their zimmerframes and wheelchairs; "an amazing sight," many fans declared. Keith Richards, who was given a blood transfusion of pigs blood before the gig, ev...
Read full story'He Who Shall Not Be Named' Causes Turbulence At Romney Headquarters
There was great tension at the Republican Campaign Headquarters that morning as the worker bees entered their office in D.C. As with every campaign, unexpected situations come up. "'He Who Shall Not Be Named'" wants to endorse Romney." stated Mitch Couler to the group, his face drawn and pained from the trials of running a difficult campaign that was getting down to the wire. "Oh my God, n...
Read full storyNASA Wanted To Keep The Mars Rover Road Kill Incident A Top Secret
HOUSTON - In an effort to avoid any adverse publicity NASA has sent out an in-house memo that the facts concerning Mars Rover Incident #717, were to be kept extremely confidential. The author of the memorandum, who has since been identified as Bri...
Read full storyHull To Be Renamed Hell? Over Your Dead Body
In response to a tourism drive instigated by council big wigs in the glorious city of Kingston Upon Hull, a protest group has been set up to stop the renaming of the city. Council chiefs had wanted to rename the city "Hell" which in Back and to the L...
Read full storyThe People's Republic Of Uzupis - Where Humor And Insanity Get Their Chance. (A Real Place!)
Forget what it says about this being a spoof at the bottom of the page - The People's Republic Of Uzupis is a REAL place! In 1991 the people of Lithuania declared their independence from the Soviet Union. In 1997 the people of Uzupis, a district of Vilnius, the capital of Lithuania, declared their independence from Lithuania and got it, sort of. Uzupis is a quiet part of town on the far side...
Read full storyKirstie Alley Opening A Fudge Shop In Cucamonga
CUCAMONGA - Kirstie Alley recently said that growing up in Wichita, Kansas, one of her favorite foods was fudge. She confessed that she truly believed that fudge was a member of one of the four basic food groups along with chips, pizza, and burri...
Read full storyJimmy Savile sponsored a transvestite website
News has emerged that a proportion of the charity funds raised by the not-Sir Jimmy Savile not-OBE, was siphoned off to fund a transvestite website called TV-Chix, where cross dressing men would arrange meetings for sex. "This is one more nail in...
Read full storyAssassinated ExxonMobil executive 'a dead ringer for Tony Blair'
Brussels - Police have drafted in face recognition experts after an oil executive resembling Tony Blair was gunned down outside an Italian restaurant in Belgium. ExxonMobil executive Nicholas Mockford and his wife had just finished dinner when hit...
Read full storyMajor row at Arsenal AGM over the charging of £13.90 for a portion of fish and chips!
Emirates Stadium, North London: Last night at the Arsenal AGM (25th Oct 2012), there were feisty discussions on whether a trophy less Arsenal, had the right to charge £13.90 for a portion of fish and chips! Arsenal owner Stan Kroenke who was insi...
Read full storyJason Roberts "Would Shake John Terry's Hand, Definitely"
The Reading striker Jason Robots has said that he would shake John Terry's hand but he has refused to say whether or not he believes the Chelsea captain is a racist. My guess is that he does, indeed, think Terry is a racist, but that he is just to...
Read full storyStudio Goes On The Offensive: "Our Prinzzess is NOT Latino, No Offense To Our Housekeeping Staff."
A young upstart animation studio whose first full-length feature is set to release Friday is going on the offensive, fighting back against charges that their Princess is Latina. In an early morning press release, Prinzzess Studiozz explains that...
Read full storyPluck Me! Jurassic Park to be refilmed exclusive!
According to 'scientists' one of the dinosaurs depicted in the groundbreaking film Jurassic Park, didn't have scales but feathers!! Bungling buffoons had originally said that Ornithomimids, the OSTRICH LIKE dinosaur had a scaly skin, and so that i...
Read full storyDemi Lovato's Bombshell Revelation
HOLLYWOOD - Demi Lovato, 20, has just announced quite a Tinsel Town revelation. She told Bedroom Pillow Talk that she came very close to quitting her judge's position on X-Factor. Lovato, who last year spent three months in two different rehab...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Says Conor Kennedy Is History
NASHVILLE - As long as Taylor Swift keeps on getting boyfriends and breaking up with them she will never ever run out of song ideas. The latest Swift victim to be shown the relationship door by the 22-year-old country music star is Conor Kennedy,...
Read full storyTom Cruise Confesses He Is Not Gay
MARINA DEL REY, California - Mission Impossible and recently divorced movie star Tom Cruise says that he is going on with his life and it appears that he has moved over to the fast lane. According to Tahiti Zeppelin with Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres,...
Read full story