David Cameron and his friends, Andy Coulson, Rebekah Brooks and Jeremy Hunt are confident that they will convince everyone that they had nothing to do with Hacking at the News of the World.
Several assistants have been earmarked for special missions by their employers and a leak has outlined the fate which awaits them.
A Top Secret message has come to our notice. It reads:
"May we remind you that all messages sent to others concerning the events related to News International were your responsibility. We must advise you to prepare resignation letters for our approval immediately.
You have acted without our knowledge or responsibility and will have to have to face up to your culpability."
The Sun has prepared a headline ready for the Leveson verdicts:
'DEAD GIRL FAILS TO BRING DOWN THE GOVERNMENT'