William and Justin Bieber in hush-hush 1am rendezvous as Kate's baby pics vanish
London - "We're need to sort this out man to man," William hissed through gritted teeth after the eighteen year-old had kept him waiting over two whole hours at Mayfair's exclusive El Bandito Club. The hurriedly arranged secret rendezvous came as...
Read full storyUEFA tournament gets off to a fine start on day three
The third day of the UEFA 2010 competition got off to a fine start in Poland today. With up to 22 men and a referee on the pitch at the same time, many of them were seen to be enjoying themselves kicking a football from one end of the field to the...
Read full storyHeather Matarazzo to play Amy Winehouse in Lifetime biopic
Great News, Heather Matarazzo, can finally revamps her acting career with the role of a lifetime-- she's officially set to star as Amy Winehouse in the Lifetime movie, Dick & Winehouse. Heather Matarazzo really does look the part of Amy Wineho...
Read full storyMan's lunch becomes star exhibit at Tate Modern
A man's hastily discarded lunch has become the latest star exhibit at the wacky Tate Modern art gallery. 'The physical impossibility of half-eaten pork pie in Tesco crisp bag' soon began to attract crowds after Dave Stench had to answer a call of...
Read full storyDr Zhivago Sketch
Phone rings. Receptionist (R): Hello. Customer(C): Hello, I want to see the doctor. R: No, sorry, you must have the wrong number. C: Sorry, I'll hang up. Phone rings again. R: Hello. C: Hello. Can I see the doctor? R: How can I help you? C: You said it was the wrong number just now. R: Ah. That's our new rigorous customer interface. It sorts out the serious from the t...
Read full storyTsunami-Driven Toyota Dealership Washes Up In California
Venice, California - Japan's 2011 tsunami has brought yet another surprise to American shores. A Toyota dealership, complete with a sales staff and a service dapartment, has landed on the beach here, less than a week after a Japanese fishing doc...
Read full storyWelsh flood woes intensify amid reports of crack in local reservoir
Wales - West Wales Drugs Squad has been alerted to a new horror menacing the flood-stricken people of Gwynedd. This morning's reports said crack had been found in a reservoir at Pennal, close to Machynlleth, contaminating drinking supplies and fri...
Read full storyPoor Decision In Pacquio Bradley Bout Reignites Calls For Fights To Be Decided by "Last Man Standing' Only Rule
Timothy Bradley shook the boxing world after a stunning split decision against Manny Pacquiao to win the WBO welterweight title. Unfortunately Pacquiao appeared to dominate Bradley during the fight at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas on Saturday night,...
Read full storyCeltics Have a Dickens of a Run
What noble words did Rondo say at the postgame press conference? We did not hear, "It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far far better rest that I go to than I have ever known." Sydney Carton was a version of Ra...
Read full storyThe Reason Illegal Aliens Are Now Simply Passing Through The United States And Crossing Into Canada
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Department of Illegal Alien Control has just made a very interesting discovery. Assistant Director Ferguson F. Cheermeister informed the U.S. news media that recent studies have concluded that roughly 87 percen...
Read full story"Another Kylie And Jason Duet Is A Great Idea!" Says Verity Warbling-Trollblog
It's the ultimate dream ticket, Kylie and Jason (Scott and Charlene out of Neighbours) reuniting to perform another duet, evoking memories of the 80's when 'Especially For You' was the compulsory wedding theme for every self respecting bubble permed...
Read full storyPrince William To Lose His Teeth Due To Rare Condition - Wife Kate's Could Soon Follow!
On the advice of royal physicians Prince William is to have all of his teeth extracted. Unlike normal people William's teeth have never stopped growing though up until just a few weeks ago there rate of growth had remained more or less steady. Most o...
Read full story"Let's All Get Behind The Irish (Not In A Gay Way!)" Says Verity Warbling-Trollblog
Skoob Sports News is delighted to announce that Senior Entertainment and Gossip columnist, Ms Verity Warbling-Trollblog has been temporarily seconded to SSN, and that she's encouraging every red blooded Englishman to get right behind the Irish in the...
Read full storyCheryl Cole gets Prince Harry invite to royal box at Ascot
Ascot - "Not a cricketing 'box', you twerps," Ascot Clerk of the Course Sir Partridge Popple chortled at reporters at a news conference today. "As an ex-wife of a famous sportsman Ms Cole's bound to have come across a few groin guard cups in her t...
Read full story"For God's Sake Leave Harry Styles Out Of One Direction Alone!" Says Verity Warbling-Trollblog
Following tabloid revelations that Harry Styles out of One Direction has been subjected to online and face to face abuse, SEN's very own Ms Verity Warbling-Trollblog has publicly appealed for people to get off Harry's case, leave him alone, and give...
Read full storyLocal Man Disappointed After craigslist Posting Attracts Strange Man and Unwanted E-mail from Overseas
A Utah man was left highly bemused after an innocent craigslist posting advertising a area picnic for local pensioners, under the heading "Picnic Today For Seniors - All Invited - Will Be Hot - Please Come In Shorts" was swamped with a request from...
Read full storyFires In Colorado Started by Army to Burn out "zombie virus" Infected Strongholds
Firefighters in Colorado and New Mexico are battling wildfires that are moving fast through parched forests, forcing scores of evacuations and destroying or damaging numerous structures. However the fires were started deliberately at the bequest...
Read full storyBlackpool wants to be in a different time zone to the rest of the UK
Blackpool, the lit up, gaudy armpit of Britain, has asked to be put on a different time zone to the rest of the UK. "We're not talking about an hour or two," said Chief of Public Interaction, Services and Scaffolding, Robert Cardigan. "We want to...
Read full storyOsama Bin Laden sends a tape to Arab News Corp claiming he is not dead
Amazingly, Osama Bin Laden has sent a VHS tape to Arab News Corp TV claiming that he is not dead and holding up a newspaper from May. "In this remarkable recording, he talks about how the Americans got it wrong," said Arab News Corp head of progra...
Read full storyMitt Romney Is So Desperate To Be The Next President That He Has Announced He Is Changing His Religion
TUSCALOOSA, Alabama - Mitt Romney's presidential campaign tour bus pulled into Tuscaloosa, Alabama, the town made famous by the 60s Petula Clark song, "Me Bloomin' Heart's In Merry Olde England But Me Naughty Bits Are In Tuscaloosa." Romney spoke...
Read full storyTexas To Increase The Speed Limit Between San Antonio and Austin To 85 MPH!
AUSTIN - Governor Rick Perry has just announced his decision to allow the speed limit on the presently still under construction Highway 131, to be increased from 55 MPH to an amazing 85 MPH. The stretch of highway located between San Antonio and A...
Read full storyJim Carrey To Star In "Call Me Maybe - The Jenny McCarthy Story"
BEVERLY HILLS - Jim Carrey was extremely devastated when his five year relationship with the libidinously attractive Jenny McCarthy ended in 2010. A close friend of Carrey's who would only give his initials, Z.K. spoke with Fajita San Guacamole of...
Read full storyPrince Harry And Cheryl Cole Fly Down To Monaco For A Romantic Weekend Break On Roman Abramovich's Yacht
The latest news to hit the gossip columns suggests that Prince Harry, and former Girls Aloud favourite Cheryl Cole may be an item, after the two were spotted boarding a private jet at Farnborough Airfield, early Saturday evening, allegedly heading fo...
Read full storyGay British Satirists Come Out Of The Closet And Stick Two Defiant Fingers Up To The World!
Shocking revelations from the UK today as a close knit group of satirists, known as 'The Coal Hole In The Wall Gang' finally bowed to unrelenting pressure from extreme masculinists, and came out of the closet waving pink chiffon scarves, whilst proud...
Read full storyU. Pei Me - A few minutes with a World Famous Architect
BIG APPLE NEWS SERVICE - A slight unassuming man, even while wearing a $3000 suit, U. Pei Me is finding out the hard way that being a world-class architect is a lot more than just pushing the print button and watching the money roll in. Recently, we caught up to Dr. Me at his New York offices on Fifth Avenue. He charged me $850 to have this conversation about his work, some customer complaint...
Read full story