Olympic Blunder Credits Michael Phelps As Swimming For Narnia
LONDON - Michael Phelps of the United States endured 15 to 20 minutes of pronounced anxiety on Tuesday when the Olympic Scoring Committee credited his Gold Medal performance in the 100 Meter Crap-style Deathstroke to the fictional world of Narnia.
Read full storyEmpty Settees due to Lack of Olympic Coverage
The scourge of empty seats which are somewhat tarnishing the Olympics came into sharp focus again today. An Olympic watchdog has said too many settees are still far too empty. Lord Coe vented his frustrations at the eyesore he encounters when snoo...
Read full storyBlack hole of Calcutta becomes reality!
Much of India has been thrown into darkness as a massive power cut plunged many Indian cities into pure darkness including Calcutta. Many of the local citizens, who haven't got the pleasure of electricity, went on the rampage, looting and breaking in...
Read full storyRomney: "I NEVER said Rag Heads! I SAID Air Heads!"
As thousands of US citizens prepared to flee the Middle East today, Governor Mitt Romney tried to "walk back" his comments to Jewish supporters in Jerusalem yesterday. "I NEVER referred to the Palestinians as Rag Heads. I might have said the word...
Read full storyKristen Stewart - Hollywood's Most Unpopular Starlet?
HOLLYWOOD - During her career Kristen Stewart, 22, has found herself in the spotlight as a recipient of many awards and accolades and she has been gracious in their acceptance. But lately the spotlight has gotten very warm; hot in fact. and it is...
Read full storyShark Attacks
Holidaying off Torquay with family and friends, Nasher White has reported seeing groups of strange creatures floating and splashing about on the surface of the sea whilst making loud, shrieking calls as if sick or in trouble. Recognisable by the...
Read full storyRomney Visits His Illegitimate Bastard Off-Shore Accounts
Septic, MA - A story in the current issue of Leader Breeders USA says Presidential candidate Mitt Romney's current Presidential overseas tour is nothing more that a cover-up to hide his visits to illegitimate bastard off-shore bank accounts, which...
Read full storyRed Sox Hit a Ball into the Credibility Gap
As a kid, you knew you had to believe in Santa Claus if you wanted that Red Ryder rifle. Now you have to believe in the Red Sox medical staff if you want a playoff position. Not since Tiny Tim tiptoed through the tulips (or Mike Aviles turf toed t...
Read full storyAndy Carroll "gotta talk proper" after West Ham move
Prolific* England striker Andy Carroll is to receive intensive linguistics training as part of his £2 million loan move from Liverpool to West Ham. One of the reasons for Carroll's lack of success at Liverpool following his £35 million move f...
Read full storyBums Needed
An Olympic plea on the internet for more bums to fill empty seats has resulted in some strange outcomes. Some people have asked how old the seats are and one queer query asked whether the bums required had to be men's or womens. The problem at...
Read full storySurprise in the Olympics at Myanmar's national anthem
With only six athletes at the London 2012 Olympics, nobody had any hopes that the tiny Burmese state of Myanmar would win a medal. They have, however, beaten the odds to take silver in the shooting, with Maung Kyu, 42, producing his personal best.
Read full storyOlympic Games 2012 Controversy As Fencing Competition Thrown Out For Being Shite
There was more controversy at the London 2012 Olympic Games last night when, following an earlier controversy over the result of a Women's semi-final joust between a South Korean fencer and a German fencer, the Fencing event was shelved, because it i...
Read full storyBristol Palin and Pamela Anderson Are 2 of The 12 Celebrities Picked For Dancing With The Stars' The All-Stars
HOLLYWOOD - After months of speculating as to which celebrities would be appearing on Season 15 of Dancing With The Stars the wait is finally over. DWTS Host Tom Bergeron announced that the suits (bosses) at ABC have picked 12 former contestants t...
Read full storyA List of 10 of Sarah Palin's Top Geographical Boo-Boo's
Sarah Palin was a relatively unknown politician until Senator John McCain picked her to be his vice-presidential choice on the 2008 GOP presidential ticket. And after "Snowflake" Palin and "Comb Over" McCain were soundly beaten in the presidential election the "Loose Moose" from Wasilla, Alaska, has tried her best to stay in the political spotlight. The "White Wilderness Woman" with a dozen...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Is Threading On Very Thin Ice
LOS ANGELES - It has not been a good year for Lindsay Lohan as the freckle-faced, troubled girl has already been involved in two automobile accidents. And in both cases she rear-ended the other vehicle which leads many to believe that she is just...
Read full storySecond Olympian Expelled For Racist Tweet
LONDON - A member of the Swiss soccer team, Michel "Mohawk" Morganella has been expelled from further participation in the London Olympics and sent home. The Swiss team lost to the South Korean team 2-1 on Sunday. And on Sunday night the 23-year-o...
Read full storyCoalition Government At Odds Over Whose Turn It Is To Do The Washing Up
First it was a squabble over who hadn't flushed the toilet, then disagreements over what sort of coffee to buy and unimportant stuff like House of Lords reform. Now the coalition government is at odds over whose turn it is to wash the pots. Th...
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