Romney flees Poland: "How many Polacks does it take to…"
Presidential candidate Mitt Romney had hoped for better after his disastrous trip to the UK. He visited Poland yesterday and addressed the crowd at the airport with the following: "How many Polacks does it take to…?" The Associated Press is repo...
Read full storyTear Up the Record Books! Olympic Levels of Crap Spouted in a Few Short Days!
It may be early days, but Britons are already toasting their heroes as it is proved, once again, that when it comes to spouting hour after hour of loud, interminable and annoying drivel, Britain is best. "We've done it!", I was told by an excited...
Read full storyCurse of Arundel Castle has hexed Kristen Stewart say locals
Arundel, Sussex - A centuries-old curse inflicted on philanderers by the castle's first chateleine Mabel de Bellême has claimed its latest victim according to reports. The murdered wife of Roger de Montgomerie, 1st Earl of Shrewsbury, Mabel was ha...
Read full storyMartin Shuttlecock Looking Forward To Barcelona Trip
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, a vertically challenged Scouser who pretends he's really from Salford because it sounds a bit more 'street' revealed today that he's looking forward to jetting off to Mediterranean hotspot, Barcelona, on Tuesday. "I'...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Talks About Her Parents' Separation
NASHVILLE - Taylor Swift has said that there is a personal matter going on within her family that is causing lots of sadness. The 22-year-old singer revealed to Grilletta Brewburger with Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine that after 24 years of wedded bliss h...
Read full storyMichael Phelps Lost Mojo at Heathrow Airport
After a fourth place finish in the 400-meter IM in the 2012 Olympic Games, Michael Phelps had a simple excuse: "I lost my mojo at Heathrow Airport." The 27-year-old Phelps said his mojo was in a nondescript bag that he thinks he may have left in a...
Read full storyQueen to make real chopper jump
In a statement Buckingham Palace has confirmed that after Queen Elizabeth's fake helicopter jump for the Olympic opening ceremony, her Majesty is to make a real jump from a helicopter. Her Majesty will make the jump this Tuesday at noon. The h...
Read full storyA Slow Boat to Oblivion for Red Sox While Patriots' Speedboat Rocks
Many sports fans in New England are happy that the Patriots with NFL football are back on the radar. With a shellacking in New York by the Yankees over the Sox, the writing is on the Green Monster. MLB in Boston is in its death throes. Worse ye...
Read full storyLondon Mayor Boris Johnson to be replaced by his own waxwork
With the Olympics in full swing, London Mayor, Boris Johnson, is being called on to be at a dozen photo-shoots a day, and even with the Olympic cycle lanes in London he is finding it impossible to get to every engagement on time. Instead, Madam Tu...
Read full storyWant to smooch? There's an app for that
For iPhone users, Vision Time has been an invaluable app, allowing lovers separated by thousands of miles to see and talk to each other (as long as both are on WiFi, using unlimited data plans and have purchased the premium version - other video phon...
Read full storyOctomom Wants to "Settle Down and Raise a Family"
After having fourteen children via in-vitro fertilization and raising the children without a husband, Octomon had decided she wants to meet someone nice and settle down and raise a family. Octomom said her ideal mate would be young, good looking,...
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