A Slow Boat to Oblivion for Red Sox While Patriots' Speedboat Rocks

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Sunday, 29 July 2012

Many sports fans in New England are happy that the Patriots with NFL football are back on the radar.

With a shellacking in New York by the Yankees over the Sox, the writing is on the Green Monster.

MLB in Boston is in its death throes. Worse yet, the Red Sox brass seems oblivious to the spiral into the abyss.

Smarmy GM Ben Cherington notes that Josh Beckett leads the team in quality starts. He has no statistics on bad attitude on which to judge Beckett, and Cherington apparently never considers clubhouse morale as important.

After the overpaid flops of Carl Crawford, Adrian Gonzalez, Daisuke Matsuzaka, John Lackey, and others in addition to Beckett, no wonder fans are turning to the lively arts of the Patriots.

Biggest crowds in history are showing up for Patriot practices.

Hirsute Wes Welker arrived at camp, on a franchise tag, but with some of his salary invested in new hair follicles.

Terrific Tom Brady continues to be the first man at practice and looks younger than ever.

Phenom Rob Gronkowski has become the face of fun, holding woolly mammoth press conferences as Boston's celebrity of the century.

Impish Josh McDaniels swears his undying friendship with Tim Tebow, lately of the Jets.

Deadpan Bill Belichick asks again if there are any football questions at his press conference.

The Red Sox don't stand a chance of gaining any attention with these guys at midseason form.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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