Rainmakers Call for Human Sacrifice to End Red Sox Problems
Everyone talks about the weather, but no one can do anything about it. The same axiom applies to the Red Sox. Everyone complains about the team, but the ownership won't do anything about it. The cloudburst over their heads may last through Septemb...
Read full storyBlair feared alien nanocraft 'were stalking Cherie'
London - Tiny alien UFOs disguised as flies, mosquitos and species butterflies such as the Common [Fire 'n'] Brimstone were the top suspects behind the PM's fears. Newly declassified UFO files released today describe how the Blairs fought a conce...
Read full storyMillions oversleep as the 02 network goes down
Millions of 02 customers turned up late for work this morning, all with the same excuse: they overslept because their alarm failed to go off. "It sounds like a lame excuse," said O2 customer liaison officer, Tom O'Byle. "And in many ways it is. Ho...
Read full storyClean Sweep For Police At Dorking Summer Festival
Dorking Police's amateur hobbyists were celebrating yesterday after sweeping the board at the town's Annual Festival. The force's enthusiasts picked up the top gongs in contests for painting, photography, acting, gardening... you name it: if there...
Read full storyHannity comes out as gay after watching Magic Mike with wife
NEW YORK, NY- Magic Mike collected $39.2 million at the box office this weekend and left thousands of ladies lusting for more as the credits ticked away. But for one conservative pundit, Magic Mike changed his life forever. Sean Hannity, a cons...
Read full storyNicki Minaj and Serena and Venus Williams To Star In The TV Series, The Beverly Hills Fannies
HOLLYWOOD - Hot on the heels of the brand new reality show The Beverly Hills Nannies comes the new show The Beverly Hills Fannies. While The Beverly Hills Nannies deals with an exclusive Rodeo Drive nanny placement agency, The Beverly Hills Fannie...
Read full storyMom leaves daughter outside of Bar
An Illinois woman left her 19-year-old daughter outside a Tennessee bar in the hopes a backwater hick would marry her. "As bizarre as it is, unfortunately there were no laws broken," Assistant Police Chief Stephanie Smith said. According to a...
Read full storyKim Kardashian Considering Dumping Kanye West
LOS ANGELES - Kim Kardashian says that she has always known that she was destined for celebrityhood. She recently revealed in an interview with Fajita San Guacamole of Hollywood Innuendo that ever since ending her 72-day marriage to Kris "Double D...
Read full storyFuneral homes: the new Starbucks
In the midst of dwindling sales at home and stiff competition from other coffee shop chains, Starbucks management have recently turned to growth regions such as Asia to open up new stores while closing several existing shops in North America and Euro...
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