Blair feared alien nanocraft 'were stalking Cherie'

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 12 July 2012

image for Blair feared alien nanocraft 'were stalking Cherie'
Top tin foil hatter feared alien surveillance

London - Tiny alien UFOs disguised as flies, mosquitos and species butterflies such as the Common [Fire 'n'] Brimstone were the top suspects behind the PM's fears.

Newly declassified UFO files released today describe how the Blairs fought a concerted rearguard action to combat suspected 'alien stalking' during their decade at No 10.

Top weapons included harnessing the awesome anti-alien powers of New Age guru Jack Temple, roped in to ward off evil influences 'following [a personal recommendation from] the Dalai Llama'.

A favorite of Sarah, Duchess of York's own foibles Temple kitted out Cherie with a formidable array of cosmic tools to fight those alien 'assimilation' fears.

These included bizarre amulets and bio-electric shields filled with 'a matrix of specially-embellished crystals' thought to be quartz charged with cocooning Mrs Blair in a formidable alien repellant.

Temple's neolithic stone circle at his Surrey back yard was the scene of countless alien detox rites featuring healing potions made of strawberry leaves and agar agar [ugh!].

However the deep-pore cleansing did nothing to remove 'alien angst' thought to be triggered by over-zealous waxings of Cherie's mustache at a Balham salon run by Goths.

The Blairs were subsequently 'rebirthed' at another nutjob's Mexican Riviera retreat in a quaint mudbath ritual involving chanting and watermelon [don't ask!].

"Of course much of these details have been erased prior to today's release of the UFO files," a National Records source commented today.

"Wanna see footage of Tony's naked initiation at Camp David circa 2001??"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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