Tiger's Ex Calls Kobe's Ex "A Discount Ho" For Settling For 75 Extra Large
BILLINGSGATE POST - Elin Nordegren had words for Vanessa Bryant upon hearing that she had settled for chump change to get rid of her philandering hubby. Calling her a "discount ho" for only scoring 75 extra large for taking the walk, the blond-tress...
Read full storyTruth about Joey Bartons Twitter account revealed
Joey Barton was embroiled in more controversy this morning when another twitter user claiming to be a former QPR employee revealed that all of Joey's tweets were actually written by staff of an indian call centre in Mumbai. The twitter user @NotNe...
Read full storyArgentina invades Falkland Island
At 0600hrs GMT. The people of this island were caught napping when 500 Argentinian soldiers came ashore at Fox Bay on West Falkland. The Junta Marines headed inland and established a spearhead just north of the popular tourist attraction. The smal...
Read full storyHairy Redknipp in court!
Totempall Manager, Hairy Redknipp, appeared in court today accused of tax evasion and having a house in North Wales. Mr Redknipps laywer, Blind Paul Gascoin, made it clear his client would fight the allegations; "Tooth and nail" and added; "I a...
Read full storyObama Cuts Deficit by Selling California
The People's Republic of China today purchased 400,000 acres of prime California beach property from the U.S. government for $1 trillion cash. The former U.S. Marine Base -- Camp Pendleton -- will be converted into malls, office complexes, condos, an...
Read full storyRosie 47 stitches up Harry Redknapp.
Harry Redknapp was twitching like a pigeon today after it was revealed in court that his dog had opened a secret bank account in Monaco. The jury was told how the Old Bill had been following the trail of 'Arry's dog, who was operating under the mo...
Read full storyPink elephant spotted by safari tourists is definitely Dumbo!
Dumbo, the pink flying elephant, has been discovered by safari tourists and they even managed to photograph him before he flew off! He was seen playing amongst a herd of real elephants after landing with a bump in the night. The tourists who spotted...
Read full storyLeaning Tower of Parliament Falls into the Thames
In an unfortunate episode central London experienced the horror of Big Ben sliding into the Thames. Happily no was injured in the catastrophe, although several tourists have been treated by paramedics for shock. A Japanese man, coincidentally taki...
Read full storyAborted Fetus Rallies in Support of Abortion Falter Again
Washington, D.C.-For the third time in as many years, pro-abortion rallies, to be held in major cities across the nation by the aborted, have failed to materialize. The rallies held on the anniversary of Roe V. Wade are a response to a 2009 Supr...
Read full storyDeport the Middletons to Sandwich Islands: campaign gathers momentum
London - A TV presenter's quip about deporting 'problem families' to the far flung archipelago has morphed into an exciting new project. Sky News reporter Colin Brazier's suggestion about sending 120,000 miscreant families each costing the taxpaye...
Read full storyCosta Concordia will need exorcism Pope warns salvage company
Rome - Unhexing the stricken pleasure cruiser requires meticulous Bell, Book & Candle stuff the Pope has warned ahead of new attempts to refloat the boat. Its Friday the 13th sinking on the Russian Orthodox calendar's New Year's Eve means devi...
Read full storyPlastic surgery advertising ban
Advertising watchdogs have indicated their support for a blanket ban on advertising for the elective plastic surgery industry after the industrial grade silicone sealant being used for breast implants has caused several women to experience breast exp...
Read full storyIrish Homeowners Can Now Legally Shoot Intruders; Hospitality Urged
The legal ruling in Ireland granting this right has gotten mixed reviews. Some think of it as a blessing; others, as a curse. But both sides are united in the belief that good old Irish hospitality should prevail, even in the case of a home inv...
Read full storyCroatians Vote To Join EU - Local Man Fit To Be Tied
A local man is up in arms over news that Croatian voters have elected to join the European Union. The country - a part of Yugoslavia from from end of the Great War until the civil conflicts of the 1990s - held a referendum on the issue, with 67 pe...
Read full storyHistory Review: Queen Anne: The Politics Of Passion, By Anne Somerset
The last Stuart monarch was a key figure in the Glorious Revolution that overthrew her father, James II. She is also famous for her 17 pregnancies and tragically short-lived offspring, a tempestuous friendship with Sarah Churchill, Duchess of Marlborough, and furniture legs. Ken Lucid casts an eye over this welcome reappraisal... Have you seen how much The First Churchills is on DVD at Amazo...
Read full storyX-Factor's Simon Cowell Says American Idol's Steven Tyler's Rendition of The National Anthem at The Patriots Vs. Ravens Game Will Not Get Him A Yellow Ticket To Hollywood
FOXBOROUGH, Massachusetts - The New England Patriots defeated the Baltimore Ravens 23-20, for the AFC championship, but it certainly was not due to being inspired by Aerosmith lead singer and American Idol judge Steven Tyler's rendition of "The Star...
Read full storyTSA to target jokers
Washington, DC - We all know not to joke while in line to board airplanes these days, but a new plan to ban joking everywhere is rapidly taking shape, according to our source C. Fowlercross, our mole in the TSA. (That is not his real name). Accor...
Read full storyGingrich romps in South Carolina, plans to romp with young, sexy aide to celebrate
CHARLESTOWN, Sc. - Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich pulled out a successful showing in South Carolina's primary, beating out Mitt Romney and leaving Rick Santorum in the dust. Insiders feel that the time is ripe for the 68-year-old...
Read full storySluts 'the key to world peace' say scientists
From gang warfare to cross words and even world wars, slutty women could eventually prevent all world conflicts, scientists have claimed. A review of psychological evidence by top, top researchers concludes that men are drawn to violence only when...
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