Cruise Ship Catastrophe: Honeymooners Discovered Safe and Doing What Comes Naturally
Italian authorities have discovered the last two survivors from the ill-fated cruise ship, Cazzo D'Oro, that crashed into a sandbar off the Venetian coast two weeks ago. The world had been eagerly awaiting news on the fate of the last two unaccounte...
Read full storyGingrich's "Brilliance" Outshines Einstein's
In a nationally televised news conference, Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich revealed that his I.Q. is 20 points higher than renowned physicist Albert Einstein. "The American people know that I am basically a modest individual, but I fe...
Read full storyTickets for Arsenal pre-season football tour of Nigeria to be sold by email
As Arsenal Football Club announced they were planning to go on a pre-season tour of Nigeria, Ollyjonjo Banjo marketing manager for Arsenalticketsinnigeria.web made a separate press release saying all tickets for the tour will be sold by email. Ollyjo...
Read full story'Brazilian Butt' Craze
Does the Brazilian Big Butt Lift Workout Really Work? The Brazilian Big Butt Lift sounds like an intense fun workout, after all Brazil is full of beautiful sexy women with great big butts. However, there are hundreds of Brazilian Big Butt workout DVDs on the market, all claiming to give you the 'junk in the trunk' results you're looking for. How do you know if all the hype about the Brazil...
Read full storyMonster Raving Loony
You won't believe this but after the last election I was approached by a man who asked if I could help with an exit poll. 'Yeah I've just come out' I replied. 'Who did you vote for?' he asked 'Mind your ***!!! business' I replied. 'This is just to see how people voted so we can try to work out what the result of the election will be' 'All right - I voted for the Monster Raving Loony...
Read full storyCockney Sparra' 'Arry Redknapp mugged in Madrid!
Tottenham 'otspur manager, 'arry Redknapp, on a recent trip to Madrid has been mugged. 'Arry was visiting a Real Madrid v Athletico Madrid game when suddenly two illegal immigrants dropped on their knees in front of him. 'Arry fought they were Garef...
Read full storyDolphin friendly foods hit the shops
Given the success of Dolphin Friendly Tuna, one particular food produce is joining the gravy train with Dolphin Friendly foods, such as Dolphin Friendly Gravy. "We've got a great range in Dolphin Friendly Carrots," said greengrocer Danielle Jerrou...
Read full storyRick Santorum Evades Fire and Brimstone for Now But Faces Christ's Wrath in a Lawsuit
Editor's Note: When I couldn't nail Jesus Christ down for an interview, I asked him to submit a guest column. On Monday, Jesus Christ filed a lawsuit against "Jesus Candidate", Rick Santorum, citing, "….fraudulent impersonation with intent to gain power over the feeble minded citizens of the Kingdom known as the United States of America…" My Brothers and Sisters: By now you know that circums...
Read full storyDid Iranian Rock Sink The Costa Concordia?
In response to US threats to impose sanctions on Iran over it's nuclear program it's been revealed that Iran has been attempting to block the Straits of Hormuz to oil tankers by rolling enormous rocks into the waters. "We've blasted about thirty...
Read full storyKim Inks A 'Pinky' Deal
All women may not be created equal ... but one of the biggest posh pinky toenail polish companies on the planet is sure paying them like they are ... and get this -- even the half and half sisters are raking the BIG BUTT MOTHER LOAD. ETZ has lear...
Read full storyTebow's sober realization: God loves the Patriots more than the Broncos
FOXBORO, Ma. - Tom Brady and God's favorites, the New England Patriots, opened up a can of old-fashioned whoop-bottom on the Denver Broncos, beating them 45-10 in the AFC title game. It did not, however, take four quarters for Tim Tebow to realize...
Read full storyStricken Mars probe Phobos-Grunt 'stalking Marianne Faithfull'
London - She has always vehemently denied being caught in flagrente with Mick Jagger in an alleged Mars Bar incident. This weekend Marianne's holed up in her leafy Chelsea pad as reports of the Phobos-Grunt's erotic - er...erratic! - orbit suggest...
Read full storyScotland independence would raise the 'happy index' in the UK
Scientists claimed today that Scotland leaving the UK will increase levels of happiness in the UK by up to 0.3%. Currently, with Scotland in the UK happy index, the figure stands at 3.9%, but were the sassanachs to go solo, deducting their low rat...
Read full storyFears for shoplifting Worral Thompson's health after rambling TV chat
Disgraced chef Antony Worrall Thompson has raised further fears about his well-being after giving a rambling and erratic TV interview. The 60-year-old star was recently cautioned for shoplifting cheese and wine from his local supermarket. Now, in...
Read full storyMy Senior Moments - W/E 15th Jan 2012
Weekly Senior Moments: Temporary mental lapses(humorously attributed to the gradual loss of one's mental faculties as one grows older). of a Nottingham Man (using the term man loosely), who's impecuniousness, is critical, his education minimal, his Social Skills none-existent, his age old, his health dubious, his looks horrendous, is bald, short, pot-bellied, bespectacled, hearing aids wearer, cur...
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