Bill Gates' Awesome Christmas Gift For His Wife
SHEBOYGAN, Wisconsin - A few weeks ago Bill Gates, 57, visited the town of Sheboygan which is situated on Lake Michigan. Gates traveled to the Wisconsin city to see about purchasing the famous lake which is one of the five famous Great Lakes. T...
Read full storyMan on laptop recycles his recycle bin
A 34 Irish man is in hospital tonight after he accidentally recycled his recycle bin. The man, who wishes to remain anonymous, was on his laptop at home when he made the fateful error. A hospital spokesman said the laptop went into an infinite...
Read full story"I Guess I'll Have to Postpone My Mass Killing if Guns Are Outlawed" - an opinion piece
by Robert James Helper, future murderer With the events in Connecticut this week, a lot of Americans are finally starting to ask if stricter gun control is the key to preventing these types of tragedies from occurring. This argument is pretty sound: fewer guns, fewer killings with guns. I think all Americans should be able to agree that new gun regulations are a necessary and vital component fo...
Read full storyLocal estate agent charged with 'dogging' at Barking Doomsday shelter
Isle of Dogs - Five c**nts of outraging pubic decency have been brought against local London K9 postal district estate agent Darren Stucco following an 'incident' at Barking's Mayan Doomsday Prophecy emergency shelter. The emergency facility is ca...
Read full storyMayans Revise Doomsday Prediction: Now Jan 21, 2013
BILLINGSGATE POST: The ancient Mayans only surviving doomsday predictor gave the world a brief reprieve today when High Chief Hokum announced from his office in the Yucatan that due to a conflict with the Gregorian Calendar, the end of the world has...
Read full storyFootball team sponsored by brothel offers players free samples!
A Greek football team that is sponsored by a brothel (Times are hard in Greece especially trying to finding sponsors) have also received a bonus from the sponsors; if they win their games they can have some free samples! The brothel owner, Madame...
Read full storyFreeman reveals shocking secrets of the Hobbit/Potter challenge
During an interview today where Martin Freeman was wearily defending the new cash-cow trilogy digging up Bilbo Baggins, the prequels, the new star of The Hobbit made a startling confession. He was asked, did he ever get the urge, during a particularly complex and panoramic scene, to breathe deeply then in his best hobbity voice yell "Dumbeldore"? Oh all the time, it was just as bad for Daniel R...
Read full storyNew England Patriots at the Brink of the Last Syllable
A little rain fell on the Patriots Place parade in Foxboro in December. The Patriots buzz-saw ran into a woody knot. As in the song, the little San Francisco cable-car went halfway to the stars, but went all the way to Tom Brady's ability to pu...
Read full storyChristmas Gifts For Hollywood Celebrities
One thing that can be said about famous celebrities is that they pretty much have everything they've ever needed or ever wanted. With the money they make on songs, movies, television, books, comedy performances, and commercials they could practically all retire and never have to pick up a guitar, a script, or a microphone ever again. But of course, like 97.3 percent of them say it is not abo...
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