Written by Crunk

Monday, 17 December 2012

image for Freeman reveals shocking secrets of the Hobbit/Potter challenge
a disturbed fan dressed as Hobbit

During an interview today where Martin Freeman was wearily defending the new cash-cow trilogy digging up Bilbo Baggins, the prequels, the new star of The Hobbit made a startling confession. He was asked, did he ever get the urge, during a particularly complex and panoramic scene, to breathe deeply then in his best hobbity voice yell "Dumbeldore"?

Oh all the time, it was just as bad for Daniel Radcliffe and the others. Frodo (Elijah Wood) had a running bet with the Harry Potter cast, that sometimes got out of hand.

Harry was forever calling Dumbeldore 'Gandalf' and Ron 'Samwise Gamgee', which Rupert Grint didn't like so much as he said Sam was 'bloody gay'. Emma (Hermione) liked to pretend to be the Elf Princess (Lady Arwen), and yank her 'mithril' top down a bit, just for the excuse to snog Sirius Black (claiming he was Isildore's heir).

That guy who played Draco Malfoy said that 'dad' really liked the idea of me calling him 'Sauron', an althogether meatier part than the spineless deatheater Lucius Malfoy, which was frankly a more 'limiting' character.

After Harry got a bit carried away and yelled "Gandalf" during Dumbledore's death scene, the producer got a bit nasty and threatened that if they didn't stop buggering about it wouldn't be just Dobby that 'gets it'.

We are all still sorry about Dobby the House Elf. All he did was lift JK Rowling's skirt up that one time and shout "My Precious!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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