Shark Rush Limburg is Angry With Governor Christie
"He is fat and a fool. Don't listen to governor Christie. He doesn't know what he's talking about..." Said the large castrated pig Shark Rush Limburg, bellowing angrily into his long-suffering microphone, unsure of his surroundings. He had just fl...
Read full storyJahmene Douglas appointed as Secretary of State for Defence
X-Factor warbler Jahmene Douglas has been appointed as Secretary of State for Defence by Prime Minister David Cameron in a surprise Christmas cabinet reshuffle. Mr Douglas is thought to have impressed the Prime Minister at the annual Downing Stree...
Read full storyMiami Cops Get Stylish New Look
Miami, FL - Miami's first openly gay Mayor, Ronaldo "Buddy" Diaz, announced on Tuesday that the entire Miami/Dade police force would soon be taking off their clothes. Every officer in the department will be switching from their very traditional black...
Read full storyHoney Boo Boo and Bob Dylan Record A Christmas Song
LOS ANGELES - A representative for Bob Dylan has just announced that the 71-year-old folk singer has just recorded a Christmas song with the star of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, Alana Thompson, 7. Dylan's rep told Music Moments Magazine that he was f...
Read full storyKeanu Reeves Attacks Himself, Only Not Really
This week news followers hungry for the latest in important world events were drawn to an eye-catching headline on the front page of the MSN news provider. "Keanu attacks Reeves" the headline read. What did it mean? Had respected thespian Keanu Reeves gone off the deep end and attempted a terrible self-destruction? Had he cut off his own arm? Had the poor man finally done off the deep end for...
Read full storyAmerican Media Already Prepare Profile Of Next Mass Shooter
US news media outlets are already preparing draft descriptions of future mass murderers based on previous descriptions of all former mass killers. "I can't believe it, they were such a normal family" has already been earmarked as one potential lea...
Read full storyBookies besieged for Mayan Calendar doomsday odds
Cyberspace - An online bookmakers has reported a wall of money currently topping $100 million in pre-Winter Solstice bets about specific long shot events occurring to fulfill the Mayan Calendar prophecy. Top of the doomsday list is Brit hoaxer mon...
Read full storyGunman Breaks Into NRA, Starts Blasting Away With NRA Supported Gun
A lone gunman stormed the NRA headquarters in Fairfax, Virginia causing bloody mayhem. Managing to gain entrance by flashing his membership card to the guards at the door, the marauder charged in firing indiscriminately in all directions using a NRA approved assault rifle that the organization has been fighting to be allowed to sell openly. It is known that a number of people in the office are...
Read full storyMichigan Becomes 24th State To Inaugurate 'Right To Be A Slave' Law
Michigan has now joined almost half of the country which has introduced legislation that will make it easier for employers to regulate, hire and fire their employees at will. Goosestepping to the current climate which wishes to reduce the power of th...
Read full storyPresident Obama Breaks Down In Tears Again!
For the third time in three days President Barack Obama has again broken down in tears. In his latest outburst of uncontrolled sobbing and bawling the United States President was actually seen to collapse in a wretched heap onto the steps of the Whit...
Read full storyBoris Johnson loves a cup of corporation taxed Starbucks!
The fabulous Lord Mayor of London, circus artist, aristocrat and TV quiz show host, Boris Johnson, has come out of his closet to support Starbucks Coffee in their bid to pay 20 million quid corporation tax! He has requested that the UK public shou...
Read full storyArizona Governor Jan Brewer's Amazing Comment About The Santa Ana Winds
PHOENIX - Many people believe that Arizona governor Jan Brewer has finally gone off the deep end. The woman who has banned tacos, tortillas, and tamales in her state recently appeared on The View and made an astounding comment. She stated to Jo...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie Reveals She Has A New Bikini Line Tattoo
NEW YORK CITY - Angelina Jolie is nowhere near being in Kat Von D's tattoo league but she is no slouch when it comes to ink markings. Jolie, who boasts that she has tattoos throughout her sensuously sexy body in three different languages, recently...
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