Bookies besieged for Mayan Calendar doomsday odds

Funny story written by queen mudder

Sunday, 16 December 2012

image for Bookies besieged for Mayan Calendar doomsday odds
You bastard George, just how many millions will you make from me kicking the bucket?

Cyberspace - An online bookmakers has reported a wall of money currently topping $100 million in pre-Winter Solstice bets about specific long shot events occurring to fulfill the Mayan Calendar prophecy.

Top of the doomsday list is Brit hoaxer monarch Queen Elizabeth II an even money fav to finally croak it on 21 December 2012 a spokesperson for Aintgottaprayer.con said today.

"We had a hunch about this demented deception ever since President Obummer congratulated the old bag for her 'extraordinary' 60-year reign," the site's head of over-rounds said today.

"A simple DNA check told us she's his AUNT, so we knew it had to be a scam."

That Yuletide RIP near-certainty is closely followed by odds of 11/10 that three former Brit PMs - plus current Prime Monster David Cameron - will be arrested next Friday and thrown into jail on treason charges.

John Major-Sick, Tony B Liar and Gorgon Brown are 3/1 ON to spend the Christmas and New Year break incarcerated at the UK's top terror jail HMP Belmarsh.

A number of Blair's secret bastard brats - including Ed Miliband [UK Opposition Leader], LibDem leader Nick Clegg, David Beckham, Andy Murray 'and Gary McKinnon' [WTF?? - 'Ed'] - are also in the frame for a dawn raid by Operation Up-A-Gumtree cops.

Also odds-on are paedo Grand Master Jimmy Savile's bastard Prince Charles by Raine, C**ntess Spencer and his horrible fag-hag gargoyle Camilla getting the handcuffs treatment on multiple terror charges, embezzlement and conspiracy to pull-the-bleedin'-wool-over-dumb-taxpayers'-eyes.

Additional odds-on prices include various House of Windsor hoaxers being arrested, charged with treason and stripped of their faux titles, entitlements and bank accounts are available on request.

Most so-called minor royals are also odds-on to be reduced in the ranks and prosecuted on terrorism charges.

As for the Middleton family, Prince William and Prince Harry and Kate Middleton herself, they too are likely to be stripped of all status and embezzled millions in highly secret offshore bank accounts and chucked in jail for the entire Festive Season ahead of prosecution in the New Year.

"We reckon all this will be followed by Barry Obummer's 4/1 ON impeachment on 20 January 2013," the site's odds-maker commented today.

"A bit of a pity if they choose Acting President Joe Biden to hold the fort during Due Process."

Cherie Blair's only lawfully-wedded husband George W Bush is 69.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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