
One Direction V The Beatles To The Death
One Direction have admitted that they see a lot of the aspects of what made the Beatles famous in themselves. Back and to the Left didn't know that the Beatles had 26 different writers on their debut album, but then again we spent a lot of the sixtie...
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Nadine In CBB Shock
Nadine Coyle of Girls Aloud "fame" has signed an agreement to go into the Celebrity Big Brother House. This follows on from her signing a solo record deal with Tesco, which provided a fitting platform for her talents. A source on the show said wit...
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Neighbours come to blows over hose-pipe ban
Two neighbours in Mundford, have come to blows over one's use of a hosepipe during the hosepipe ban. Jeremy McAllister gets his water from Cambridgeshire Water, whilst Barry Sprote is with Anglican Water, and their fence is on the boundary of the...
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Torres reveals secret behind his majestic goal-scoring talent!
£50 million super-buy, Chelsea's Fernando Torres, has at last come clean about the secrets behind his sensational goal-scoring ability which he crowned last night with the late equaliser against the "almighty" FC Barcelona. It seems that ex-traine...
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Romney family endorses Mitt! Well...kind of!
When David Gregory, host of NBC's Meet the Press, scheduled the Romney family for an interview to be shown next Sunday, no one expected any breaking news. It seems nothing can ever be taken for granted in the 24/7 news cycle. An advanced copy of the interview has surfaced. It shows that Gregory appeared somewhat bored as he began the interview with Romney's wife and five sons. He began with the ol...
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'I Was An Unwed Teenage Mother' Kate Middleton confides in Justin Bieber
London - Late last night Royal Protection Racket cops managed to smuggle Justin Bieber from his suite at the Royal Garden Hotel to Nottingham Cottage in nearby Kensington Palace. The secret meeting went ahead despite rumors of a tip-off that QM-Ne...
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Arizona Offers Immigrants Voluntary Incarceration
Arizona has extended a limited-time offer to all immigrants in the state to be voluntarily incarcerated for a 10-year period, following which they would enjoy a six-month exemption from the state requirement that all immigrants over the age of 14 car...
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Double Dip for Cameron
David Cameron has experienced two dips recently: first the dip in the polls for those say they will vote Conservative and next the economic dip with GDP(Grand Dad's Piss) showing that we have double dip recession. Then there is the Hunt saga of th...
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Spy-in-a-bag's 'solo bondage caper' story fails to convince
London - Professional escapologists today queried the latest dramatic twist at an inquest into MI6 cryptographer Gareth Williams' death. A former landlady testified about having to rescue the spook in an unlikely sounding solo bondage crisis wher...
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Wettest Drought On Record Says Expert
As England, Wales and Scotland were battered by wind and rain yesterday and today a weather expert warned that this could be the wettest drought on record. Many water authorities in the south east of England have imposed hosepipe bans as local wat...
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Bettany Hughes's Divine Women "Big Disappointment" Says Alice Roberts Group
As TV historian Bettany Hughes's latest series on ancient history comes to a close, one viewers' group has criticised the show for being "too timid." In Divine Women Prof Hughes has investigated the often-unsung and frequently-suppressed role wome...
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Donegal Authorities Seek 'Wild West-Type' Lawman For Gold Rush Town
Wanted: Gun-toting lawman to clean up Irish goldrush town! That's the message from Donegal community leaders as scenes from the old West have developed on the pilgrimage island of Lough Derg. Ever since a Canadian company won the right to searc...
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Dorking Police Ransack Photographer's Studio For Porn Evidence
Dorking police today ransacked a local amateur photographer's home and confiscated the contents of his studio. Officers from Dorking Central Division, accompanied by dog handlers and an armed response, unit descended on 27 Ladysmith Crescent short...
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Tim Tebow Becomes Target of Virgin Busters
One of those lowbrow websites has offered one million dollars ($1,000,000.00) probably payable in pennies to any woman who can prove she has had sex (all the way, folks) with Tim Tebow. Their money is safer than if it were in government bonds. No...
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Walgreen's Hires Sexual Predator As Security Guard
I was convinced that April would be better after the first 10 days went by without incident, internet not included. And then the most ridiculous thing possible happened. Here's the letter I had to send in addition to visiting the local police precinct. Some vital info needed prior to reading: the man below is 50 years old, was a security guard on duty, and was called "one of the nicest people aliv...
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Bottoms For Large Bottoms: New Kardashian Clothing Line
Yesterday the news of the new Kardashian clothing line hit the airwaves. The line was described by Kim as, "the go to attire for white women who have larger assets." According to Khloe it's not enough to just have the larger rear end, but now people need to dress it accordingly." The line will appear in Sears, JC Penny and Dillard's starting tomorrow. According to sales estimations, the line of...
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Dancing With The Stars - Gladys Knight Gets Sent Back Home On "The Midnight Train To Georgia"
HOLLYWOOD - Dancing With The Stars saw this year's oldest contestant Gladys Knight of Gladys Knight & The Pips fame get eliminated. Ms. Knight, who is 67, first found herself in the Bottom 4, and then the Bottom 3, and then in the Bottom 2.
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Due To The New Orleans Saints "BountyGate" and Now "MicrophoneGate" The NFL Ruling Commission Is Seriously Considering Banning The Saints From The NFL
NEW ORLEANS - Well it certainly appears that with the latest "Hidden Microphone" development the New Orleans Saints have just about showed the world of professional football that they would be much better suited operating in the professional wrestlin...
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Friends of Simon Cowell, X-Factor's "Sultan of Sarcasm" Believe He May Be Setting His Sights on New Judge Britney Spears
HOLLYWOOD - Now that Simon Cowell has ended his engagement to Mezhgan Hussainy, the former Afghani freedom fighter turned Hollywood makeup artist, there is talk that the X-Factor mogul may be on the passion prowl. Friends of the man with the Midas...
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Michael Jordan Owner of The Charlotte Bobcats Who Are (5-57) Announces That He Will Not Be Renaming The Team The Kitty Cats
CHARLOTTE, North Carolina - Michael Jordan, the owner of the Charlotte Bobcats, who have only won 7 games and lost 57 says that he wants to dispel some rumors that are going around the NBA locker rooms. First of all the wants it known that he is n...
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Pamela Anderson Confesses That Her Nude Posing Days Are Definitely Over
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Pamela Anderson was recently interviewed by iRumors at an IHIPHOP Soul Food Restaurant in West Hollywood. Anderson sat at the bar in a zebra striped tube top and matching short shorts as she spoke with reporter Taffeta Kixx. She w...
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