Bwahaha! Another royal corgi drops dead on holiday
Scotland - The Queen is inconsolable - borderline suicidal - at the death of her beloved pooch Dorky this weekend. On Sunday night she locked herself in her bedroom and drank three bottles of Creme de Menthe to cheer herself up after 'the incident...
Read full storyEx-NYPD chief 'advising Cameron on dealing with Obama's other illegitimate miscreants' - report
London - A DNA lab specialising in identifying the bastard offspring of Global Piss Process luminaries is working flat out this weekend. Reports that fabled former New York police chief Bill Bratton has been parachuted in to help David Cameron 'ta...
Read full storyThe Peloton heads south leaving the heathens behind, but only for a short while (?)!
It was a rainy, stormy, (corny but true) last hundred metres between Scotland and heaven as "The Spoof Tour de Brittania" approached the border. All participants had their passports at the ready as the local customs officer, dressed in a shabby green and blue tartan kilt from 1830 bearing war wounds from Culloden and a shreaded set of bagpipes last used way back when when Scotland last won a fo...
Read full storyQPR fans charged 20p to take a leak
Long suffering QPR fans are being charged 20p by their billionaire owners to spend a penny in the newly refurbished toilets. Supporters flooded into the ground ahead of the opening Premier League fixture against Bolton yesterday but were shocked t...
Read full storyPatronising Russian jewellers reckon 'owner has no idea' of priceless Romanov treasure's worth
London - A stunning Fabergé Imperial Egg bought at auction in New York in 1964 is being hunted down by a London jewellers. The gem-encrusted gold/sapphire/ruby/diamond trinket, which looks like a flower-festooned Easter egg in precious metal baske...
Read full storyHyde to change their name again
First they were called Hyde United, but the United was dropped when Hyde were given pots of cash by Manchester City for sponsorship and use of their stadium. Now Hyde are set to change their name again. "We never dropped the United from our name w...
Read full storyUS Gets Ready For Wyoming Cow Shit Poll
Cheyenne, Wyoming - As the Ames Straw Poll in Iowa winds down, the state of Wyoming is gearing up for its unofficial cow patty poll. Just as people at the Iowa State Fair could put a kernel of corn in a jar for the Republican candidate they liked be...
Read full storyLittle Nine-Year-Old Piper Palin Comes To Her Mom's Defense
WASILLA, Alaska - Sarah Palin continues to be one of the most outspoken politicians in recent years. And now that another female (Michele "Hair Spray" Bachmann) has entered the GOP race things should get pretty messy with all of the estrogen-laced...
Read full storyJennifer Lopez Is Strutting Her Stuff As She Puts Out The 'Welcome Mat'
NEW YORK CITY - Jennifer Lopez is still negotiating her American Idol contract which according to inside sources will most probably make her the highest paid AI judge since Simon "The Count of Cruelty" Cowell. The 42-year-old Bronx native recently...
Read full storyZac Efron Is Thrilled To Be Getting Back Together With Taylor Swift
LONG BEACH, California - It is well known to fans of both Zac Efron and Taylor Swift that the two dated way before T-Swizzle got involved with the likes of Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner, John Mayer, and Jake Gyllenhaal. Efron 23, and Swift 21, were a...
Read full storyPompey Seal Benjani Return - Last Piece In Puzzle Says Superfan
Portsmouth are destined for greatness again following the signing of Benjani on a free transfer, according to club "superfan" Jake Seaport. The Zimbabwean striker played for the south coast club in the Premier League between 2006 and 2008. Althoug...
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