Tiger Woods confirms his divinity
AUGUSTA, GEORGIA--Tiger Woods denied rumors today that he is, after all, only a human being. The unrelenting string of questions challenging his divinity comes on the heels of a narrow loss at the Masters Golf tournament at Augusta, Georgia, which e...
Read full storyBush Administration to Revise the Constitution
In a bold move that has incensed Democrats, the Bush Administration announced today that it was going to "edit" the United States Constitution to bring it up-to-date.
Read full storyIs John Edwards mesmerised by the Michael Douglas movie The American President?
Washington DC - (Disaster Press): Presidential contender John Edwards may be becoming increasingly mesmerised by the allure of the 1995 Michael Douglas romantic comedy The American President.
Read full storyWestminster Kennel Club to sponsor dog shows like you've never seen before; dogs judged on shape and size of the penis
The Westminster Kennel Club which was founded in 1877 in North America has announced new criteria for judging canine conurbation. Now that scientists have discovered a gene affecting dog penis size, the WKC is adopting new standards.
Read full storyGeorge Bush Defends Alberto Gonzales With Abbott And Costello Precedent
(Washington, D.C.) It might as well be Ronald Reagan's second term during the Iran-Contra hearings when the line went "what did the President know and when did he forget it?" Just substitute "Alberto Gonzales" for "Presid...
Read full storyDog Whisperer returning to Mexico to rehabilitate chupacabra
Mexican Cesar Milan has been asked to return South of the Border in order to help authorities and the population there learn to live with their Chupacabras in peace.
Read full storyAlberto Gonzales To Resign - Opening Restaurant
Washington Toast - Reliable, unnamed, senior level, faceless, White House sources have disclosed, in a darkened downtown garage, after a red geranium potted plant was placed on a apartment fire escape, that Alberto Gonzales will be resigning soon, re...
Read full story2008 Election goes Turkey
Worldwide Animal Rights campaigners have been granted permission to let a Turkey run for President in the 2008 Election.
Read full storyCorrs unveil Larry Mullen Jr and shock new image.
Larry Mullen Jr joined the Corrs this week sparking a musical merry go round as U2 scrambled to find a new drummer to finish recording their new album "How to save the world and reduce your tax bill with Honours"...
Read full storyNew Poll Shows Bush's Approval Ratings Below Hitler's
A Newsweek Magazine poll found that more than seven-eighths of Americans oppose President Bush's prolonged war in Iraq and his choice to send 21,000 more troops into harm's way without a timetable for withdrawal.
Read full storyBorat Obama is tactical name change
Springfield, Illinois - (Disaster Press): Illinois Senator Obama has announced a radical 2008 White House campaign measure today which has seen him change his first name to Borat.
Read full storyFaye: my topless Iran pics ordeal
TV Studios, London - (Ass Mess): Royal Navy sailor Faye Turney has defended her decision to sell her topless Iran photos for a reputed six figure sum after the Ministry of Defence caved in and accepted the standard 15% agency fee.
Read full storyFaye Turney Forced to Watch "Videos"
Millionaire sailor Faye Turney has revealed how she was separated from her colleagues, forced to strip to her panties and stockings and sleep on a small King Charles Spaniel during her "nightmare in Tehran".
Read full storyVatican announces children's draft
The Vatican announced today that it is instituting the first Catholic draft since the Children's Crusade several hundred years ago. The draft is in response to a recent Vatican symposium on pedophilia and the sexual abuse of minors by priests.
Read full storyPope Benedict Shocks World, Calls for Peace, Chocolate
The Pope has used his customary Easter address to call for world peace. However, as the masses nodded at the speech they've heard so many times, Pope Benedict shocked many when, straight after calling for peace, he called for chocolate.
Read full storyPope to Marry
Rome - (Satanic Press): The Pope stunned the (mainly left footed) faithful during his Easter address today by announcing he is to marry his long time partner, former Right Said Fred frontman, Richard Fairbrass.
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