Terrorists Are Training Stingrays to Attack Americans & Coalition Members
In new, yet unconfirmed Osama video delivered by a dolphin to the Miami Coast Guard station, bin Laden states, "We have convinced stingrays that Americans and their coalition allies are evil and must be destroyed."...
Read full storySubway introduces new Sandwich-in-a-Sandwich sandwich.
Williamsburg, Idaho (IBC) - Subway sandwiches of Williamsburg, Idaho introduced a new sandwich style at 9.00am this morning. Subway's new Sandwich-in-a-Sandwich sandwich is one entire Subway sandwich lovingly placed inside another full sandwich.
Read full storyVlad 'The Impaler' Putin in lads' joke about hapless Israeli president
Moscow - (ReUterus & Associated Mess): Russian President Vladimir Putin was reported in laddish mood today as he told the assembled Kremlin press corpse that Israeli President Moshe Katsav was top contender for the 2006 'Macho Man of the Year A...
Read full storyFormer U.S. Senator John Edwards Victim of Identity Theft
DES MOINES, Iowa -- Detectives with the Iowa Division of Criminal Investigation say that former U.S. senator and vice presidential candidate John Edwards is the victim of identity theft. For years, said DCI Director Stephen E. Bogle, someone posing...
Read full storyShades of 1939 as Poles fire warning shots at German pleasure boat
Gdansk, Poland - (Associated Messerschmitts): Old war wounds appear to be hard to heal in North Western Poland amid reports that Polish patrol boats have opened fire on a gaily-coloured Westphalian pleasure boat cruising the balmy Baltic waters aroun...
Read full storyEliot Spitzer Gives Advice About Gambling
Saratoga Race Track, New York---In a one on one interview with "The Racing News" chief bookmaker, Harry The Horse Muddytracks, Eliot Spitzer has elucidated his approach to gambling.
Read full storyRiggs Bank brands Nigerian Leaders' $380bn theft as 'pathetic'
DuPont Circle Branch, Washington DC - (Associated Mess): Senior executives of the Riggs Bank money laundering division have described as 'pathetic' reports that their client-dictator implants in Nigeria have stolen some $380 billion since th...
Read full storyBush "October Surprise" to be a Real Disaster, Says Secret Report
HONOLULU, Hawaii -- The Bush administration has planned, as an "October Surprise," instigating a massive natural disaster in California, according to sources who have seen a secret White House report.
Read full storyBonesmen behind NYC undertakers' corpse scam
Brooklyn, NY - (Associated Mess): Body-snatching members of the Ancient American Order of the Skull And Bones' Osteoporosis Division are the main suspects behind a spate of thefts which resulted in the disappearance of bones belonging to the ve...
Read full storySpace Cowboys Rustle ISS
Some people call them the space cowboys. Some call them the extraterrestrial terrorists. Sadly, none of them are called Maurice. A group of activists calling themselves "The Space Cowboys" have begun sabotaging work being carried out for ne...
Read full storyClare Short Takes Bat Home
It is reported that Labour cabinet minister, Clare Short, has taken her bat home, during a round of indoor cricket in the parliament offices. She says she's resigning as well.
Read full storyFirst ever Net Meeting Mexican Wave
London, United Kingdom. A new phenomenon was witnessed today. For the first time a group of people on a conference call Net Meeting successfully attempted a sustainable Virtual Mexican Wave. The event was on a sales incentive call by...
Read full storyBush Enters Rehab After Admitting Rumsfeld Abuse
WHITE HOUSE (AP) Vice President Dick Cheney today took over all presidential duties after George Bush left the White House for rehab at an undisclosed location. Seated behind the Oval Office desk, Vice President Cheney made a stunning announcement du...
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