Buzz Lightyear Announces He Will Make a Bid for the U.S. Presidency
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In the vacuum created as Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert each declined attempts to be drafted to run for the presidency of the United States in 2008, Buzz Lightyear has declared he is jumping into the void.
Read full storySnoop Dogg: I was Framed in Airport Weapons Charge -- by Katie Couric
LOS ANGELES -- Rap artist "Snoop Dogg" was charged Thursday with one felony count of knowingly possessing a deadly weapon -- a baton -- while trying to board a plane in California, authorities in Orange County said.
Read full storyChristmas comes early: Santa blames climate change
Christmas has literally come early to many parts of the country today. Children up and down many European countries awoke this morning to piles of presents and notes with demands for "milk and cookies next year!" Santa, it appears has deliv...
Read full storyCheap Xmas crack deal: Fidel summons Provos' roving ambassador Livingstone
Havana, Cuba - (Associated Mess): Ailing Cuban leader Fidel Castro has summoned London Mayor Ken Livingstone to his bedside amid fresh concerns that a major London-bound cheap Xmas cocaine deal brokered last month by the Non-Aligned Crack Barons'...
Read full storyMilwaukee man tries to define "Perky Breasts", arrested on charges of lewd gesturing
A Milwaukee man, Gerard Clemens, was arrested this morning by local police during an alledged attempt to explain to his neighbor exactly what he meant by "your wife has beautifully perky breasts". Clemens is yet to release a statement from...
Read full storyHaggard:"I didn't have to pay"
Colorado Springs, Colorado - (Associated Mess): The embattled leader of the National Evangelical Association Pastor Ted Haggard has stepped down from his lofty pulpit after hotly refuting allegations that he had to pay for sex with men, claiming he w...
Read full storyPoll finds George Bush is Scarier Than Kim Jong-il, Frankenstein and Most Other Monsters
LONDON (Reuters) -- America is now the biggest danger to world peace according to its closest allies in an international public opinion poll published today which also found that George Bush "is pretty much the scariest monster of all now."...
Read full storyConfused Parents will Upset Millions of Children this Christmas
The forthcoming release of the Nintendo Wii games console in time for Christmas is expected to cause a lot of upset to Children in the western world, and result in a lot of wet stockings on Christmas morning.
Read full storyDoctors Say President Is Using All of His Reptile Brain
BETHESDA MD-The president underwent tests today after being hospitalized for complaining of severe headaches. Doctors first thought that he might be getting too much sleep, or feeling the fall out from the war, but tests revealed that the president h...
Read full storyLULAC: Bank Vaults "Exclusionary, Divisive"
NEW YORK, USA - LULAC, the League of United Latin American Citizens, following their condemnation of the Secure Fence Act, released a statement on Tuesday denouncing US banks for their use of heavy steel, time-lock vaults.
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