Reese Is Going To Pieces
Somewhere where the walls have ears and light bulbs have eyes - Unconfirmed reports have surfaced that Reese Withspoon, star of screen and disheartening family tragedy, is drowning her sorrows with Pink
Read full storyThatcher: My plot to murder Ken
London - (Associated Mess): In a rare post-psychotic period of lucidity, former UK Prime Monster Margaret Thatcher has admitted that she once plotted to murder GLC Leader Ken Livingstone unless he allowed her free access to gerrymander at leisure wit...
Read full storySaw III causes 19 people to vomit in cinemas; 3 people die from choking on vomit
In its opening weekend, horror film Saw III has caused multiple cinema incidents. In at least 12 cinemas across the UK and US, the third film in the Saw franchise has been implicated in at least 19 vomit related incidents, along with 3 apparent cases...
Read full storyMore PMT than PMQ in the Commons today
London - (Associated Mess): Amid scenes of hysterical uproar today the House of Commons Speaker Michael Martin warned of an 'imminent bloodbath' as Prime Monster Tony Blair refused to answer questions about 'just how many Generals' he...
Read full storyHeather Mills Bids to be Recognised as Fifth Beatle
Yoko Ono has been drawn into the vicious divorce spat between Sir Paul and Lady Heather Mills McCartney. John Lennon's widow is reported to be furious at reports that Sir Paul is considering offsetting a proportion of any future divorce settlemen...
Read full storyGod Sends Smoke Jumpers Into Hell
ANTENORA HELL- Smoke jumpers battled blazes today in hell in an effort to extinguish the fires of damnation. "The purpose," God said was "to give Christians a little relief and to try to create some peace in the world. I've been wa...
Read full storyLULAC: Bank Vaults "Exclusionary, Divisive"
NEW YORK, USA - LULAC, the League of United Latin American Citizens, following their condemnation of the Secure Fence Act, released a statement on Tuesday denouncing US banks for their use of heavy steel, time-lock vaults.
Read full storyJohn Kerry Bites off Tongue while Attacking Bush
In an unprecedented speech yesterday, John Kerry implied that low achievers in college would wind up personally fighting Bin Laden and Laden's insurgents in Iraq. Kerry today again lost his composure (blew his lid) in a live speech, lashing out a...
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