London - (Associated Mess): Amid scenes of hysterical uproar today the House of Commons Speaker Michael Martin warned of an 'imminent bloodbath' as Prime Monster Tony Blair refused to answer questions about 'just how many Generals' he had to sleep with before being allowed to sign up for the Bush Administration's Whore Against Terra in Iraq.
Martin then threatened to play his ultimate trump card by sending pesky baying MPs out to the 'naughty stool' for a 'period of reflection' unless good behaviour was restored P.D.Q.
Later, in the tranquillity of the Downing Street first aid room, a visibly rattled Blair had to be sponged down with some healing unguents by wife Cherie's personal trainer Carole Caplin and reassured that recent swab samples returned from the UK National Poisons Unit had proved negative after extensive cross-referencing with ex-Chief of Defence Staff General Sir Michael Jackson.
