Castration Called for to Curb Pregnancy Craze
A dark shadow stalks modern British society as the new craze of teenage pregnancy becomes ever more popular. Teenage girls are no longer turning to the cheap thrill of alcopops, over the counter painkillers and heroin for their kicks but to a new mor...
Read full storyChina's white dolphin: tasted great, now extinct
BEIJING, China - One lucky diner enjoyed a special treat yesterday when he ate what scientists confirm was the last of China's rare white dolphin. In an effort to promote tourism and China's unique cuisine, officials raffled off the opportun...
Read full storyNaked Paris Hilton Goes Seal Clubbing As Thousands Cheer
JUAN DE BUTTOFUCCO, WA - Celebrity socialite Naked Paris Hilton opened ESPN's first season of live, televised seal clubbing today, taking a sea lion pup by the flipper and dragging it onto the dance floor of "Thunder Clap," the most &qu...
Read full storyNicole Richie suing GPS manufacturer
Burbank (CA) - The Attorneys representing Nicole Richie are suing Garmin, the manufacturers of the Global Positioning System (GPS) that had apparently malfunctioned in her black sport utility G-Class Mercedes on that fateful morning she was wrongfull...
Read full storyCreator to boycott Creation Museum opening in plagiarism row
Cincinnati - (Ass Mess): An unholy row has broken out as lawyers representing the Architect of the Universe filed papers in the US Supreme Court alleging plagiarism and copyright fraud by the Answers in Genesis organization's temple to mediocrity...
Read full storyBNP to get colour chart as global warming turns Britons darker
Former pop star and alleged kiddie botherer, Michael Jackson, stunned fans today when he announced that he was to join the British Nationalist Party.
Read full storyUri Geller's Penis leaves hospital
Uri Geller's Penis left St Guy's hospital today, amid scenes of near hysteria not seen since the sixties when Beatlemania was at it's height.
Read full storyShock as Hammers appoint Bjork Director of Football
In a suprise move today, West Ham's Icelandic chairman Eggert Magnusson today announced 90's singing sensation Bjork as their new footballing supremo.
Read full storyGeller's penis on the road to recovery
Uri Geller's penis was well enough to take some soup and wave to fans from his hospital bed last night.
Read full storyArmageddon May Lead to New Ministry
Home Secretary John Reid said today that it is "highly likely" that Armageddon will take place before the New Year.
Read full storyMike Tyson KO's clients
Mike Tyson former heavyweight champ of the world has been knocking out clients left and right in his new occupation.
Read full storySex Addict Cuts Off Penis To Survive
Sex addict Peter North, 24, from the upper Westside said today that he had to do the unthinkable. After going on a 48-hour binge, North said that he wasn't left with any choice.
Read full story76er's Finally Trade Allen Iverson
THe Philadelphia 76er's have finally managed to unload long time problem child and one time M.V.P. Allen Iverson. In a surprise move announced today, the team said that they have traded the player to Vinnie's Tattoo Parlor on 5th and Junctio...
Read full storyPolice Give Details on Nicole Richie DWI Arrest
Celebrity and pseudo actress Nicole Richie, most famous for being the friend of Paris Hilton (and co-star of her former reality show) and daughter of singer Lionel Richie, was arrested for driving while intoxicated. Richie was taken to the local pol...
Read full storySpace station extension 'is skunk factory'
Outer Space - (Ass Mess): Planning inspectors from NASA's building regulations directorate have warned that a recent application to build a conservatory-style extension on the International Space Station is a cynical ploy to install a skunk facto...
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