Celebrity and pseudo actress Nicole Richie, most famous for being the friend of Paris Hilton (and co-star of her former reality show) and daughter of singer Lionel Richie, was arrested for driving while intoxicated. Richie was taken to the local police department precinct where she was booked and placed in lock-up.
In a statement from that police department, Public Affairs Officer Dan Staygood said, "Miss Richie was driving the wrong way on a one way street, weaving back and forth between cars. When stopped, she showed the officers that she was not wearing any panties and asked them to please take her pictures and post her crotch on the internet like Britney and Paris."
"When she was removed from the car, she then asked if any of the officers were Jews or blacks so that she could insult them for even more publicity. As officers Kim and Garcia are neither, she said that she did not know if she could get good P.R. by insulting, in her words, 'chinks and beaners'."
"She then asked which officer wanted her to slap him and whose squad car she should throw up into. When advised that neither wanted to be slapped or have their unit smell like vomit, she asked which wanted to, as she put it, 'fondle her goodies' or 'do a Rodney King' on her."
"At this point, the two officers called for back-up and sixteen of this city's finest were required to subdue the now naked starlet."
"It was the opinion of the officers that the young woman, upset after being kicked off of Paris Hilton's reality show, was merely looking for publicity by trying to imitate every other drunk celebrity in Hollywood."
"Once Miss Richie has sobered up and cleaned up, we will release her so that you all can take her picture. She has asked in advance that you focus the cameras on her crotch as she has declined this department's offer of panties."
"In an entirely unrelated matter, this department denies any involvement in a supposed gang bang of a drunk woman by several men dressed as police officers. We think that this was some kind of college prank perpetrated by a bunch of frat boys in rented costumes."
