Houston, No Problem
That was some flying. Two week road trip, 219 laps around the planet, six passengers in the back seat, drop off 15 tons of supplies at the International Space Station, three space walks, patch a flat, clean the windshield, check the water and oil, an...
Read full storyOlsen Twins to be Separated by Surgical Team
Siamese twins MaryKateandAshley Olsen are scheduled to undergo surgery Tuesday to be separated from each other. If the delicate procedure is successful, they have announced that they will now each have their own first names and have chosen, not surp...
Read full storyAlbuquerque Sheriff's Helo brought down by Gunfire
Albuquerque NM-- In a sign of the times, a Sheriff's helicopter circling over suspected burglars was reportedly brought down by gunfire Monday night. The helicopter's crew was unharmed, although the chopper itself was destroyed on impact.
Read full storyArnold Ziffel Appointed Secretary of Agriculture
(Hooterville) In a move to strengthen his cabinet, President Bush nominated Hooterville's favorite son, Arnold ZIffel, as the new Secretary of Agriculture.
Read full storyTerrorists Vow Vengeance on Satirists
Satirists have been warned by outraged terrorists that they will "rot in the festering belly of cancerous serpents" for what are being viewed as irreverent comments.
Read full storyMoslem Writer Accused of Mocking Christ
Christian extremists have vowed not to turn the other cheek following the publication of a new novel on the life of Christ by Moslem writer Achmed Al-Abi.
Read full storyBush Signs Energy Bill and Boasts "Oil Imports Will Skyrocket"
WASHINGTON (AP)-- President Bush signed the comprehensive Energy Policy Act of 2005 yesterday that provides more than $900 billion in massive giveaways and tax credits to a bloated US energy industry that is already laughing all the way to the bank w...
Read full storyNCAA Expands Post-Season Ban to Animal Mascots
Los Angeles, CA-Encouraged by the success of Native American support groups in convincing the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) to require university sports teams with mascots named after tribes or with terms deemed offensive (breathe i...
Read full storyMichael Jackson's Latest Makeover
Pop Star Michael Jackson unveiled a new look yesterday at his Neverland Ranch, but denied that it involved another plastic surgery.
Read full storyal Qaeda Helps Bush
NEW YORK, NY - Amid reports of al Qaeda helping to raise oil prices, there has been much speculation about what the exact relationship is between Bush and the shadowy network of terrorists.
Read full storyU.K. Fights Terrorism Without Torture, Gitmo, Patriot Act
London -- Stunning their American counterparts, London police, MI6 and other British intelligence agencies appear to be mounting a successful battle against terrorism without suspending civil liberties, torturing suspects, or violating the Geneva Con...
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