Terrorists Vow Vengeance on Satirists

Funny story written by Harry Porter

Wednesday, 10 August 2005

image for Terrorists Vow Vengeance on Satirists
Omar didn't know how to tell his wife that he wouldn't be seen dead in the outfit she'd bought him from Martyrmart.

Satirists have been warned by outraged terrorists that they will "rot in the festering belly of cancerous serpents" for what are being viewed as irreverent comments.

And, according to postings on a number of extremist websites, a campaign of revenge attacks is now being planned "to erase the infidels and their insults".

The infidels' children's children are also to be forever condemned to the ‘worm infested lower intestine of a she-goat'.

The warnings come after writers across the globe united under the umbrella theme ‘How many terrorists does it take to change a light bulb?'

This was launched in response to the statements following the London bombings that praised the bravery of the suicide bombers who slaughtered 56 commuters.

While world condemnation was greeted with jeers and celebration on a number of websites in the Middle East, an ominous silence met the much-reported satirical story ‘Terrorists are unhygienic, sexually inadequate, bad sons, lousy fathers, crap husbands and have wee willies'.

Posted by the controversial comic writer Mungo McFudd on the Puffin Power satire site, the irreverent article, which challenged the glory of liquidising innocent children so you could get "your Nat King in the afterlife", sparked a movement which is now being viewed as insulting to Islam.

McFudd, author of ‘Life's a merkin and we're all coughing up hairballs', has remained unrepentant.

"If you believe it's not only okay to kill children but that you get rewarded for it, then you've got to expect someone pointing a finger at you and saying ‘what a sick nutter'."

And it seems the terrorists have distracted a lot of attention from the usual targets of satire - President George W. Bush and UK Prime Minister Tony Blair.

Scribblings concerning the two leaders have dropped by 75 per cent while suicide bomber articles have billowed faster than a flatulence-inflated bhourka.

If the terrorist aim is to kill one and terrify a thousand, it seems the satirical shrapnel was unforeseen.

While determined self-detonation continues unabated, so do the pokes at the deluded pomposity of the extremists.

Virgin shortages, jihad and even Al Qaeda itself are now all seen as fair game for sending up - but there's room for a lot more, according to McFudd.

"What's wrong with irreverence and ridicule when the targets are killers?" he said. "Are we really supposed to respect these people, or are we supposed to fear them? Screw that!

"Let's have a laugh."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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