Bush's Policy on Iraq Misunderstood, Presents Policy on "A Rack"
Washington - President Bush's presentation to clarify his Iraqi policy is not to be. Instead there will be a nationally televised walk though of how the President handles "a rack".
Read full storyCher Launches Her Very, Very Last World Tour
A publicist for Cher says the 60-something pop star will kick off her final world tour with concerts in Sydney and Melbourne later this summer. Unlike her previous final world tours, the aging entertainer promises this one will truly be her last.
Read full storyElton John Seen Buying Pink Cadillac from Elvis Presley
Elvis Presley has sold one of his pink Cadillac's to another rock legend, Elton John. Or at least he'd like you to believe that.
Read full story50 Cent Arrested in Shooting of Ja Rule and Ashanti
Rapper 50 Cent, who still hasn't forgotten his hatred for rival Ja Rule, was recently arrested for the shooting of the two main stars of The Inc., Rule and Ashanti. He said, "I finally got those motherf***ers back!"...
Read full storyUS Transfers Sovereignty to Iraqi Shopkeeper
(BAGHDAD) In a stunning diplomatic move, the United States has transferred sovereignty of Iraq to a 67-year-old shopkeeper from Baghdad.
Read full storyAliens blamed for rise in Animal Gun Crime
Earth - Scientists worldwide have found evidence that extra terrestrials may be the source of the significant increase in gun crime among animals.
Read full storyBush says his low approval rating is the work of terrorists
President Bush said today that his record-low 42% approval rating "sends the wrong message to our troops" and accused unpatriotic poll respondents of trying to "weaken our resolve." Bush would not rule out using the Patriot Act to "smoke out" thos...
Read full storyCookie Monster Wipes Out Cookie Supply at Baltimore Bakeries
The Cookie Monster has struck again!...
Read full storyBush Aroused by Federal Erections
Further doubts were raised about the mental state of the war-loving President, following remarks he made to the ‘Doris Day Look-alike Convention', today in Beverley Hills.
Read full storyKirk Douglas Becomes Zombie, Eats Baby
At first, it seemed rather cute. Kirk Douglas, in a whimsical display of light-hearted antics, leaned forward and pretended to bite the arm of his 5-month old grandson, Jason. Afterwards he leaned back then licked his lips slowly, in what eye-witness...
Read full storyComedy Central's Deal With Satan Ends
Satan, the Lord of Darkness, told reporters that his deal with the popular channel Comedy Central has ended at a press conference earlier today.
Read full storyJohn Kerry Sizes Up George W. Bush
NEW YORK AP Appearing on "60 Minutes" this Sunday, presidential hopeful Senator John Kerry was grilled by Mike Wallace in an in-depth...
Read full storyUS Invades Texas
With the deadline for the Iraqi handover less than 5 weeks away, US Armed Forces are now searching for a new target before they get bored. As a response President Bush has now turned his attention to his home state of Texas.
Read full storyPresident Bush Postpones November Election
Washington, DC or Midland, TX (cuz Dubya's probably on his pre-summer but post-spring vacation)--...
Read full storyFathers 4 Justice Furious They Missed Prescott
The now infamous flour protestors have apologised at a Press Conference before their court appearances.
Read full storyIraq: US has Delivered American Values
Spokesman for Coalition forces on the ground in Baghdad has today announced the completion of operations to bring full US values to the people of Iraq.
Read full storyImprison this! “Kaufman’s 30 second guide to living”
Imprison this! Can someone find me a dictionary?...
Read full story