US Invades Texas

Funny story written by Paul Bavill

Monday, 24 May 2004

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Troops begin assault on Houston

With the deadline for the Iraqi handover less than 5 weeks away, US Armed Forces are now searching for a new target before they get bored. As a response President Bush has now turned his attention to his home state of Texas.

Troops in the Texan National Guard have been placed on "Special Orange Alert 12" as several armoured divisions have taken up locations around their borders.

Justifying his actions on Cable Public Access Television. President George Bush said, "Texas is a haven for dangerously unstable and uncivilised people and desperately needs stabilising. Let's not forget that they have Weapons of Mass Destruction and a stack load of oil."

"With a similar sandy environment to the Middle East we'll have the benefit of not having to retrain our troops who have proved excellent in killing American targets."

No definite start date has been released for the current action codenamed Operation "Houston You Have a Problem", but it is expected to begin shortly after June 30th.

Opening salvos will involve Air Strikes from Edwards Air Force Base in California along with coastal bombardments from Cruisers in the Gulf of Mexico with an amphibious landing commencing immediately. It is predicted that Houston could fall under US control before the Election.

Active groups such as the Stop the War Coalition have stayed quite silent on this subject stating merely the following, "Any state that has given us George Bush obviously has a disgraceful human rights record."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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