Washington, DC or Midland, TX (cuz Dubya's probably on his pre-summer but post-spring vacation)--
White House press secretary, Pee Wee Herman, announced today that the November election would be postponed indefinitely because, "President Bush feels that a possible regime change wouldn't be prudent, at this juncture. Oh yeah and Dubya thinks he may lose, so he wants to wait."
When the pundits debated the decision on the Boring Channel's YAWN series, political correspondent George Dontsteponmyfootithurtsalotis said, "I guess that Bush decided he could move the election since Kerry is opting to postpone his acceptance of the Democratic nomination. He is citing the need to make sure that the Iraq turn-over goes smoothly. We wouldn't want to impose anything like democracy on them right now. It's just too soon. It makes sense."
A lot of other pundits agreed. Arianna Huffnpuffandillblowurhousedown announced, "This is a wise and savvy strategy from President Bush. I'm actually surprised he came up with it. What, with the Iraqi turnover turning so volatile we need consistent leadership. And well, Bush has been consistent, hasn't he?"
When asked if this smacks of idiocy, another pundit James Carjacker said, "Well, I am not sure about that. The wisdom of the Bush will only be seen long after he leaves office and, with these new developments, that may not be for a long, long time. Viva democracia, as they say in Latin America."