Ann Widicome reccomends Max Factor.
Ann Widicome today announced to a shocked press conference that she is quitting politics and going into modelling. "Having secured a deal with Max Factor worth in excess of three million pounds I am no longer going to be involved in the politica...
Read full storySchuey admits he is the greatest ever
Michael Schumacher confirmed today during testing that he is indeed the best driver ever to have sat in an F1 car and that his modesty prevents him from saying so.
Read full storyAliens Responsible for Most Popular Music
Music that sounds "Out of this World" just might be...
Read full storyHeadhunters Travel To New York For More Roasted Rockefeller
Cannibal head-hunters from New Guinea travelled to New York this week searching for more Rockefellers to eat. Expedition leader Yakke, a tribal chieftain who was a boy when his family ate Michael Rockefeller in the 1960s said that he had not had hum...
Read full storyMusician Breaks New Ground
Joaquin, a native of East Rutherford, RI, has blasted on to the scene with his experimental new album entitled Silence.
Read full storyDonald Rumsfeld's Lunch Stolen
Donald Rumsfeld's lunch was stolen right from under his nose at the White House today. A visibly shaken Rumsfeld talked to reporters, and wondered how this could happen? "My wife Joyce made a tuna casserole in a GladWare container with some lovely...
Read full storyImaginary Playmates Lead To Insanity
In a report scheduled to be published next week in the New England Journal of Medicine, Doctors David Cutley and Morgan Morganthau announce findings which will likely prove disturbing to parents throughout the world.
Read full storyMaryland Invades, Occupies Delaware
Maryland Governor Robert Ehrlich Drops Slots Plan - Invades, Annexes Delaware...
Read full storyRepublican Convention Schedule Announced
The Republican National Committee today released the official schedule and agenda for the first day of the 2004 Convention to be held in New York City on August 30th.
Read full storyReport: Castro Government - Puppet Regime
Havana, Cuba - Shocking news out of Cuba today - it appears that Fidel Castro has died. The discovery came just days after it was noted that the aging dictator was acting very odd. It appears now that El Presidente has been nothing more...
Read full storyFirst Visit To The Jock Strap Store
I remember my first visit to the jock strap store. Now, if you go to Walmart today they have them, tightly bound in plastic, hanging on racks. When I needed my first jock strap my parents took me to Brooks Brothers. I was horribly embarrassed as my father said to the clerk. "My son is becoming a man. He needs a jock strap." My mother, thankfully, had moved away to peruse the socks...
Read full storyMan-Dog Love Association Boots Jackson
The North American Man-Dog Love Association announced today that it is severing all ties with entertainer and dog-fancier, Michael Jackson. Association Kennel Master, Daniel ‘Spot' Dekker, speaking at a press conference held at a San Fernando Valley...
Read full storyWhen Will Reality TV Get Real?
Who says TV executives don't have a handle on the pulse of America? Certainly not this reporter. I wouldn't dare say anything negative about TV executives. They are like Big Brother watching us with the Nielsen ratings. I like me some TV executives. Speaking of Big Brother. Nah, just kidding. I wouldn't dare give that show a minute of my valuable reality-TV show watching time.
Read full storyKerry Starts Busting Up Bush's Cabinet: Forgets He's Not President
Washington, DC -- John "Big Head" Kerry has decided that it's high time he steps in and fixes the messes of the Bush administrat...
Read full storyMSN Appoints Omarosa New Spokesperson; Bill Gates Outraged.
Citing competitive issues with Google. MSN today announced that it had hired Omarosa as an official spokesperson. MSN's CEO told writer KungFu IceSkater, "You know, I warned Bill Gates about the whole stock options situation. A bunch of kids a...
Read full storyHelp! I Misplaced the Ballot Box
Today the Philippines have nine presidents. Five actually ran for the presidency on 10 May, but following the conclusion of the epic, the exit polls indicated there were suddenly nine viable contenders. This news stunned the already shocked and dum...
Read full storyGoogle IPO Fears: Google Removes "Omarosa" From Search Engine Results; Yahoo Follows Suit
Google announced today that it would remove the term "Omarosa" from its search results. Google complained that its loyal customer base has threatened to start using MSN or Excite and a group of investors have threatened to short Google's IPO stock, i...
Read full storyThe Man From Monsanto, He Say No.
The decision by US biotechnology giant, Monsanto, to stop producing genetically modified wheat has been welcomed around the world by plants and plant eating animals, including humans.
Read full storyCashing in on the passion
Hollywood- With the "Passion of the Christ" box office going through the roof everyone is trying to cash in with their own spin-off. Now Irish director Paddy O'Fernachure has come out with his own passion.
Read full storyAmerican Idol News: New Judges Next Season. Simon remains; Omarosa and MJ Replace Paula and Randy
Omarosa has done it again. The Apprentice outcast will be joining Michael Jackson and Simon Cowell as judges on next season's American Idol and Simon isn't happy. Simon and Omarosa got into a feisty argument and your favorite writer KungFu Iceskat...
Read full storyNew Boy Band from Iraq Emerges: "Bag Dad and The Masked Killers"
Pentagon officials, in conjunction with Rhino Records, have announced the formation of a new boy band based in Iraq, named "Bad Dad and The Masked Killers." Bag Dad, the lead singer and only American of the bunch, will perform naked at concerts, w...
Read full storyNever met a Southerner I liked
It seems to me every time I go just south of my mail box every morning I start to panic. Southerners “Suth-un-ners“, I cant stand them. Now please not get me wrong I like the south and its people. I’m not talking about people that happen to live in the south, they are tolerable. No. I’m talking about real true to life southerners.
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