Ketchup Discovered to Have Strong Antimicrobial Properties
When drippings from a laboratory technician's French Fries totally expunged the contents of 317 Petri dishes, scientists learned that ketchup is as, if not more, effective than many currently used antibiotics.
Read full storyDrunk tank driver puts citizens at risk
Earth -- Military official, Joseph F. Schmoe, decided on Wednesday to drink with his friends, even though he was to drive a tank later that night. Apparently he knew the risks, and was willing to take them.
Read full storyDieting Women Riot at Supermarkets Nationwide
Hordes of dieting women rioted yesterday at all major supermarket chains upon learning that Hershey's had ceased manufacturing Tastetations sucking candies.
Read full storyCBS News 60 Minutes program off the air
60 Minutes, the CBS News magazine providing a ‘blend of hard-hitting investigative reports, interviews, feature segments and profiles of people in the news,' has been taken off the air.
Read full storyAngry voices about music going to Saturn
HOUSTON, Texas -- Music will debut in deep space when four French tracks arrive at Saturn's largest moon Titan next year. But the project is not without controversy.
Read full storyNew Iraqi currency to honor cold war heros
(IMF HQ, New York) Final preparations are underway today for the official unveiling of new Iraqi banknotes designed by a Halliburton all-party currency committee headed by Mark Hofmann, whose spectacular interpretation of 19th century archival texts...
Read full storyRumsfeld Spotted in a Very Strange Position in His Office
June 2004: Secretary of spirited Dee-fense, Donald Rumsfeld, was found yesterday afternoon in his office with his ***head up his ass.*** When confronted, he pulled it out, replying, "I was looking for some answers to throw to the Senate Intell...
Read full storyAll-white, all-black newspapers soon
Media tycoons in the United Kingdom and South Africa have planned an all-white newspaper and all-black newspaper respectively.
Read full storyExperimental Hot Sauce Leads to Taco Bell Inferno
IRVINE, CA - Accidental exposure of a 2,500-kiloliter tank of experimental "Ultra" hot sauce to an open flame Thursday evening sparked off a fire that threatened to engulf the entire fast-food district, prompting a multi-pronged rescue and...
Read full storyJohn Ashcroft Memo: Get Phreaky
John Ashcroft has refused to deliver to a Senate Sub Committee a copy of a March,2003 memo that the Justice Department issued at the request of the White House condoning the use of torture and bad words in interrogations of non military prisoners bei...
Read full storyNASA Plans Risky Rover Descent Into Detroit
DETROIT- The Mars Rover, Opportunity, is expected to roll into a stadium-sized pothole in Michigan Avenue this week from which it may never escape, NASA scientists said, a chance they willing to take in the interests of inner city exploration.
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