U.S. weighs troops in Germany
BERLIN - The United States is weighing troop withdrawals to fundamentally rearrange American forces around the world, U.S. and German officials said. Around 70,000 U.S. troops are currently assigned to Germany and that would require quite a scale.
Read full storyGeorge Bush names Dr. Phil to replace Dick Cheney
WASHINGTON - A deafening collective cheer was heard from Republicans across the nation today when President George Bush named beloved talk show host, Dr. Phil McGraw, as his VP replacement in the upcoming November election.
Read full storyNASA Goes Low Tech To Save Money
NASA, ever mindful of the ebb and flow of national politics, and well aware that the national mood does not favor huge expenses in space for what seems at the time negligible gains, is turning to an old reliable, low-tech alternative - eyesight.
Read full storyTenet Bests Devil, is Allowed to Resign from Bush Administration.
Washington - George Tenet left the D.C.
Read full storyPope tough on Bush at meeting
ROME -- Pope John Paul II met with President Bush and told him to shut up and stop calling God his pal while waging war.
Read full storyMan Arrested For Loving Moose
Cross dressing Vermont cowboy Wayne Focus was arrested Thursday night in the woods outside of Hennby, Vermont and charged with unlawful knowledge of a protected animal, specifically, a moose. Wearing a skirt, blouse and stilts, Focus was noticed by...
Read full storyClinton gets palsy on launch of book tour
MOBILE, Ala. -- Former President Bill Clinton began his tour to promote his soon-to-be-published autobiography despite a run in with palsy.
Read full storyKhan's golf scores impress fans only
NEWPORT, Wales -- England's Simon Khan equalled some kind of golf record by shooting a 9-under 27 through the first nine holes of the second round of the Wales Open and it was apparent that only people who followed golf very closely cared.
Read full storyFeith Opens Pork Barbeque Stand in Baghdad
The man American Theater Commander General Tommy Franks called the "F---ing stupidest guy on the face of the Earth," Douglas Feith, the former Under Secretary of Defense for Policy, has resigned his position at the Pentagon to open pork barbeque sta...
Read full storyCastro Buys Florida, Moves to Ft. Lauderdale
MIAMI, Florida -- Dumbfounding the U.S. intelligence community, Cuban dictator Fidel Castro is confirmed to have purchased the state of Florida in a deal worth US$ 66 billion, which included a beach-front villa in northern Ft. Lauderdale. He has alr...
Read full storyET in Arcadia Ego: Philip Green offers £9billion for MI5
(London, Friday). The UK rag trade is agog at the news that car boot sale supremo Philip Green has offered "up to £ 9 billion" in a hostile takeover bid for UK security service MI5.
Read full storyPoodle Brothers to rally troops as top spooks quit
(London, Friday) Following the shock departure of CIA boss George Tenet and dirty tricks chief James Pavitt, President George Bush and his alter ego in London Tony Blair are to stage their own Operation Overlord on Brighton Beach this Sunday in a mo...
Read full storyLegal Gay Marriages Break The 4th Seal: Apocalypse Nears!
Unconfirmed Sources report that the 4th Seal of Hell has been broken. The failure of the 4th Seal, the Pale Horse, coincided with the legalization of Gay Marriage in Massachusetts. Religious leaders from around the globe have gathered at the Seal Mon...
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