
How to Make the Perfect Iraqi Turnover
First find the perfect location for your preparation. The country you pick must be rich in oils and potable water, yet oppressed. It should also sit well in it's region in order to gain the greatest strategic placement for later preparations. If you...
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Neo-Cons Fail In Their Bid to Remove Bush From the Ticket
President Bush spent the better part of his day today reassessing his Presidency and thanking John Kerry for assisting his bid to retain the Republican nomination.. "I'm not sure that I would have done the same thing if the shoe was on the o...
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Hollywood takes over Bollywood
Hollywood, the United States' multi-billion dollar movie industry has taken over India's Hindi cinema industry, popularly known as Bollywood.
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U.S. Discovers Freedom from Oil
UPI, Holland, June 28, 2004. Faced with increasing pressure from the American consumer for alternative energy sources, President Bush's Secretary of Energy, Spencer Abraham has offered an alternative source of power. Enthusiastic about the wi...
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US plans to invade India
United States President George W Bush, at a late night meeting with top aides at the White House, has approved of a plan to invade India.
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Death dies in remote Indian village
Death died an untimely death at a remote village in India.
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New White House Director of Communications Named
Washington, DC Stardate 299765. White House Director of Communications Dan Bartlett has been fired from his position. Unhappy with his inability to help Bush communicate to the country, Bartlett was moved to "Supervisor of White House Intern...
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Simon & Garfunkel Headline the Concert on Baghdad Island
In a surprise handover ceremony, at 10:26 a.m. (2:26 a.m. ET), Paul Bremer, calling himself the "ex-administrator" of the Coalition Provisional Authority, gave a leather-bound transfer document to Iraq's interim Prime Minister Ayad Alla...
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Iranian Frog Gives Birth to "Judy Finnegan"
An Iranian newspaper has reported the controversial story of a frog who claims to have given birth to a Daytime Television presenter.
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Critical security flaw in software discovered.
A security hole has been found in some software. The programmer said that they had just released a patch for old flaws, and didn't plan on releasing any more any time soon.
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Englishman sells tea to China
An english gentleman has claimed that he now "sells all the tea in China to China".
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Cheney paid $250,000 to say the "F" word in Senate
(Capitol Hill, Monday 28 June) Accountants employed by Vice-President Dick Cheney today confirmed that the $250,000 paid to him by President Bush Senior was for saying the word "fee" in reply to questions regarding how much money he earned...
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Enron fraudsters hand Iraq sovereignty to Mossad
(Baghdad, Monday 28 June) In a widely expected move, representatives of the newly created Greater Israel today formally took over the running of former Iraq, under the leadership of Mossad's ex-Moscow bureau chief Iyad Allawi.
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Andy Lam: Dietary Scientist
With all of the talk these days about "low carb" this and "fat free" that, I decided it was time to offer my own learned thoughts on the important issue of weight reduction - based on my own experiences. Now let me first say that I am in good heath and recommend that before anyone begin a weight-loss program they check in with a doctor or something. Despite my fine sha...
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US Hands Back Toilets To Iraq
The US has formally handed back the keys to the public toilets in Iraq, two days ahead of schedule.
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Guantanamo Bay Inmates Offered Six Free* Ringtones
Inmates at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, imprisoned as part of the USA's ongoing War on Terror, are being offered six free* ringtones when they buy any three different meals from the cafeteria in any one week. Announcing the offer yesterday, a visibly a...
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Bush Agressively pushes New Initiatives
In a sweeping press announcement today, GW Bush covered a wide spread of subjects ranging from education to the military.
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FEC Rules Fahrenheit 9/11 Ads are Political Ads: Moore Ties with Bush and Kerry in National Poll!
Unconfirmed Sources indicate that the FEC ruling that ads for Fahrenheit 9-11 are political ads has catapulted Michael Moore into the presidential election. A national snap poll of likely voters has all three candidates tied at 33% with 1% undecided.
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