Octopus Predicts Palin For President
In a stunning announcement this morning, Paul, the Physic Octopus, has picked Sarah Palin to win the US presidency in 2012. With almost a perfect record in predicting World Cup soccer games, the famous Octopus has given new life to Republican hopes f...
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Mitt Romney Favored to Win Boston Marathon
The $75 million Mitt Romney has spent on his presidential campaign appears to have more than paid off; polls now show that Romney is favored to win not only the Republican presidential nomination, but also the Boston Marathon. "I didn't even reali...
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Gaston selects his running mate
Washington DC - Presumptive President, Gaston, has announced to a small cadre of reporters that he has chosen his running mate. In a surprise move, the Mormon underwear-wearing cartoon character Gaston, known for his superlative qualities of hitting...
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Ron Paul Solves Jobs Crisis: 4-Day Work-Week!
In a flash of insight he calls divine inspiration, presidential hopeful Ron Paul singlehandedly discovered the solution to the nation's current job crisis: scaling down the work-week from five days to four. "It's so obvious!" exclaimed Paul to joy...
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A Nation Weeps As Hannity Threatens To Quit Fox News
Fox News' very own conservative spewer of spin, Sean Hannity, has sensationally threatened to abandon the much loved "news" channel if Mitt Romney loses the presidential election. On his daily Romney campaign show, a seething Hannity told his wors...
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Inquiry; Lady Gaga replied she's going to run for President
I got some emails from whom I believe is either Lady Gaga or her producers encouraging the idea that she is going to announce her candidacy for President on 11/11/11. I can't prove that's who the emails are from but whoever sent them is relating information about her new video Born This Way that it would seem only her inner circle would know about. My impression is that they want to build this int...
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Sarah Palin picks Paris Hilton as running mate
Zombies for Romney claims Florida group
Ricky Gervais Has Agreed To Be Sarah Palin's 2012 Presidential Campaign Manager
President Obama Admits He Wants Gas Prices To Hit $8.00 A Gallon!
Jesus wants to be President
BP to fund Tony Blair's nomination in the US Presidential election race
Oil Slick: Burn Here, Burn Now
Rush Limbaugh Will End Up Losing All of His Advertisers Except For One Very Appropriate One
Northwest NewSmash Presents Top Headline Predictions for 2012
Romney says Obama used Wiccans to cause Hurricane Sandy!
Romney to complete Gulf War trilogy
Presidential Debate Part Three - Romney The Musical
The Devil Flames the Obama/Romney Race
Washington, DC -- In an historic first, the Devil has declined to throw his support behind either candidate for US President, declaring that both contenders "are hell-bent on creating chaos without any help from me." "That makes it impossible to c...
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Obama and Romney Finally Agree: The President Won't Use a Teleprompter and Romney Won't Flip-Flop
DENVER - The first Presidential Debate between President Obama and non-president Mitt Romney will be held in The Mile High City. The debate will be moderated by Jim Lehrer, a man who should have changed his last name a long, long time ago. Lehr...
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Oh My God! Stop the Election! Stop The Election Before It Is Too Late!
Oh my God!!!!!! Oh my God!!!!!!! Stop the presses! This is too big..... Some how, some way we've got to stop the election! I've just discovered something …....something terrible! Something you won't believe. I'm at an off loading dock in Oakland for container ships. I'm typing this on my cell phone. The Chinese.....oh my God!!.... The Red Chinese have totally infiltrated the election! T...
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Paul Ryan Says He Will Run For President In 2016
KEYSTONE, South Dakota - Paul Ryan took a trip up to South Dakota to visit Mount Rushmore and to get a little rest and relaxation from the grueling presidential race he has just lost. Ryan told GOPicky Magazine's Amos Soursuckle that he had no ide...
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Romney 'not concerned about the very poor,' admits being downright bored of them
TAMPA, Fl. - Despite an impressive 14-point victory in Florida, GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney felt he couldn't vacate the state without sticking it to those Floridians--and Americans--who were least like the candidate: the very poor. In a...
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After Being Told That President Obama Was in South America, Sarah Palin Remarked That She Didn't Know That The 2012 Presidential Primaries Had Started!
NOGALES, Arizona - The chairwoman of The Lower 48 Tea Bag Party, Sarah Louise Palin was in town speaking at a Happy Holiday Hotel meeting room before the annual convention of The Gila Monster Breeders of Arizona. The organization which was founded...
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Palin Sets Out Her Campaign Agenda
Weird and wacky right winger Sara Palin gave the strongest clue so far that she would be throwing her hat in the ring for the 2012 Republican nomination when she laid down several strong policy statements. Palin, who is in the middle of her "One N...
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Own reflection causes Paul Ryan to forget why he isn't running for president in 2012
Washington--Paul Ryan isn't running for president because he doesn't want his beautiful hair to turn grey like Obama's did this year. "I love my hair, and I think running for president would mean my hair might fall out or turn grey. I can't have...
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Cheney For Dictator Campaign Kicks Off
The wheels are already grinding under the Dick Cheney for Dictator campaign of 2012. The former President of Vice of the United States announced his candidacy at a meeting of Corporations For Keeping America Under Our Thumbs' convention in New Orlean...
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Rand Paul Filibusters His Wife For Boys Weekend In Vegas
Washington, DC - 2016 Presidential candidate, Senator Rand Paul, is well known in Washington circles for being able to talk the hind legs off of a donkey, as demonstrated in his ten and a half hour filibuster on the Senate floor this March to protest...
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Jeb Bush stands by his banana fritters recipe
Tallahassee, Fla - Controversy still rages over the 1998 gubernatorial bake-off that saw Jeb Bush's yummy snacks unfairly dubbed as nothing more than cheapskate yellowcake. A letter to the influential Floridian True Grits cookery magazine claims e...
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US Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney Outsources Debate
DENVER, Colorado Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney announced he would outsource his spot at the podium in the first presidential debate. In a cost-cutting move, Romney will be represented by Mahatma Martin of the Mumbai, Indiana...
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Rush Limbaugh Republican Nominee For President
Since all Republicans appear to be beholden to radio talk show entertainer Rush Limbaugh, (particularly the four remaining candidates for the presidential nomination) Rush recognized a golden opportunity and decided to become the Republican President...
Read full storyFunny 2012 Presidential Election Headlines
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Republican Sources: A Palin-Plumber Ticket In 2012
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Ralph Nader Thinking about 2012
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Coalition for Barefoot Politicians blasts Congresswoman Shelley Berkley
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Spoof Editor: "We're Done -- Made up stuff way less funny than the real things the U.S. presidential candidates are saying"
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President Obama Orders Navy Seals To Kill Bin Laden, Again
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Obama admits "Abnormal fear of Clowns" in interview
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VP Debate Sends A Nation To Sleep
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Madonna Encouraging Teenage Fans to Vote
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Lady Gaga Tells The Haters, The Sore Losers, And Donald Trump To Leave The USA
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Karl Rove Pays To The Piper After Dancing To The Music In A Darkened Washington Back Alley
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Frog Standing for Presidency
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Study reveals 93% of Europeans "don't care" about the Electoral College
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When It Comes To Lies, The Democrats Can Do It, Too
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Romney Urges Americans to Eat More Red Meat
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Newt Quits Race, Vows to Conquer Russia
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Biden: I've got binders of women too, if anyone's interested
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"I serve no spine before its time," declares presidential hopeful Mitt Romney in run-up to 2012 election night
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Presidential flip-flopper heaven as Mercury goes retrograde on November 6th
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President Obama will be 'more white' if re-elected
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Florida Man Still In Line To Vote
