CLEVELAND, Ohio - (Satire News) - Tittle Tattle Tonight reporter Pico de Gallo says that a Hooters Girl in Cleveland waited on a gentleman who ran up an $87 bar tab. Melissa Ann Syracuse, 26, said that she waited on a brain surgeon, who had just l…
Senior Tipping Magazine recently had a Horror - story article about Tipping at food shops and doctors/dentists’ offices. With computerization and Tablets. the bill is now on the Tablet - you thumbnail your signature - and are present with the ti…
DALLAS, Texas - (Satire News) - Dallas Daily Divulger Newspaper reporter Pistolero Gunnster, has just reported that a Hooters waitress named Jazzy Jettler, was recently the recipient of the biggest state in Hooters history. Miss Jettler, who has b…
Seattle, WA - Contemplating how utterly thrilled the staff of the local coffee shop must be, 32-year-old Brandon Reenberg felt good about himself Monday for leaving a remarkable tip. Sources confirm Mr. Reenberg had a vague, poorly concealed smile...
Every waitress wants TIPS. The American scientist Michael Lynn conducted a study of 482 waitresses at the age of 18 years and older. Waitresses rated themselves and answer the following questions: 1. In what year were you born? 2. What is your bra size? 3. What color is your hair? 4. How big around is your waist? 5. How big around are your hips? 6. How tall are you? 7. How much do you...
Duncan Whitehead of Fort Lauderdale, Florida headed to a new restaurant in town to celebrate his birthday. What happened next caught the attention of the world. Despite a dining experience that "sucked," the generous man left a $2 tip for th...
A waitress in a London restaurant has recently broken records for the amount of tips received by a single employee. Rebecca Taylor put her recent success down to the fact she now laughs at all of her customer's awful jokes. "When I first star...
Despite receiving poor service at a local diner, Boston couple Dan and Irene Goodwin felt compelled to leave a larger than average tip for their waitress, Brenda Lynch, after she drew a smiley face on their check and then wrote "have a nice day" unde...
Browsing through a recent volume of Evolution and Quirky Behavior, I was startled by the title of an American study: "Ovulatory cycle effects on tip earnings by lap dancers: economic evidence for human estrus?" As you know, 'estrus' (or oestrus, a...
To the uninitiated, the workshop can be an intimidating place, full of tools you may not know what to do with. To help, here's a helpful explanation of common tools and their uses, followed by some DIY tips: 1 Socket-Sets: A definitely much needed tool. You'll always lose the one you want to use, but the nearest width one can always b utilised to chew-up the bolts. 2 Drill Press: A ta...
Now that one can no longer romp around the countryside chasing foxes on horseback... One's self on horseback, not the foxes you understand. One is obliged to take up other open-air activities during the week-end. Alongside shooting and seal-clubbing, one of the most invigorating pastimes that I've found is the riding of a motorcycle. But what motorized bicycle to purchase? For the beginne...
UK prime minister, David Cameron is so tight that he left a Tuscany café without tipping the waitress and his excuse was, "the cappuccino's were cold!" Which was obviously a "porky pie" because Italian cappuccino's in Italy are never cold and the bes...
Welcome to the first, and probably the last edition of Crap Tips and Money Saving Ideas - with Mickey Thomas. We are hoping to make this a regular feature in the Magazine Section of the Spoof.com, although it will probably never catch on. Any similarity between this and other tips and helpful hints columns in the TV Times, Viz Comic, or The Economist is purely coincidental. Honest! It is! Micke...
Thousands of people illegally cross borders. Some make it. Other don't. Here are some sure-fire tips on how to get to the other side. 1) Disguise self as a stereotype of recipient nation, or pretend to be an asshole. Chances are, the rec. nation will be all assholes. 2) Send a email, and then upload yourself as an attachment. Send email to a 3D printer lab in all good science or engineering...
I recently was in discussion with another user of this twatty website on the topic of pangolins destroying his garden shed. Naturally - I being a human male with a beating heart after all - I was struck by the pain and suffering that such events can inflict on another male human. With a heart. I vowed right then and there to offer instruction in making a shelter. A shelter from the storm...
Follow my instructions and you can then go out and catch animals like some sort of modern-day Buffalo Bill. What you'll need: - String or twine. - A springy twig or sapling. - Some bits of branch or wood. - Some smaller twigs. - A knife (for cutting) - Human hands. (for doing stuff and scratching backside) - Human brain. (for thinking) - The patience to even bother. Now, this snare...
The Government has put forward a money saving proposal whereby everyone would be paid in tips rather than receive a standard wage. Instead of people knowing what they are going to get every week, the government's idea will encourage workers to 'tr...
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